Dispensing Witan Wisdom Since The Days of King Eggbound The Unready...

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Sunday, 15 March 2015

Epiblog for Mothering Sunday



It has been a busy week in the Holme Valley. The weather has at least turned quiet, although we’ve had a succession of grim, grey days when it’s been like living inside a Tupperware box.  Although the temperature stubbornly refuses to climb, and the daffodils are still only in bud, we have at last opened the cat flap up again, so Matilda can come and go as she pleases – all winter, we’ve been letting her in and out of the conservatory door -  even though doing so causes an evil draught to whistle around the wheels of my wheelchair.

Matilda has been greatly appreciative of this development and I suppose it proves, apart from anything else, that cats must possess some sort of ability to remember things, as she clearly knew what it was and what to do with it, from the first day it was re-opened. Now all we need is some warmth and some sunshine. At least it saves me having to trundle to the conservatory door seventeen times a day to let her in/out, or sit waiting impatiently while she dithers on the doorstep.

The birds and squirrels have also been busy, helping themselves to the seed and bread I put out, and gathering nesting material. There is just the faintest green tinge, a green haze, almost not there, in amongst the trees as we look out across the valley, which tells me that we must be about to enter that time described in the Harley Lyric Alysoun as “Betwene Mersh and Averil, whan spray beginneth to springe”.     

Misty has had an eventful week, shepherding and rounding up not only Matilda (who ignores it and saunters past under Misty’s nose with her tail in the air)  but also Zak and Ellie, who are still staying with us. For poor little Ellie, this has come as a bit of a shock to the system, as, with the regular mealtimes and the 13-mile route marches, coupled with the early starts on Debbie’s teaching days, she must feel as if she has joined the army or something. The other night, Misty was curled up on the mat in front of the stove and Ellie joined her, with her head resting on Misty’s rear haunch, where she promptly fell fast asleep.

The week has been dominated, of course, by the preparations for Mike’s funeral, and by the event itself. By prior arrangement, I didn’t actually go up to the crematorium, but stayed here, instead, minding the dogs. I had discussed it with Debbie and various family members, and it was as much a case of practicalities as much as anything else. If I go anywhere at all, these days, it has to be planned like a military operation, and I would have had to be stuck in the aisle or at the back or something, and to be honest, I felt that Debbie and her family probably had enough to concern them on the day without having to remember to parcel me up and transport me hither and yon. Plus, my presence would have limited their choice of where to go afterwards, and I thought it was important that Deb had a chance to be with her family.

I am not a great fan of funerals anyway (who is?) so I wasn’t upset by this arrangement, as long as the family didn’t think I was being disrespectful.  My last memories of both my mother and my father were of seeing them in their coffins on the day of their respective cremations, and it took me a long time to banish those sad images from my mind’s eye and replace them with happier ones, although I did eventually manage to do so, and I suppose whilever I didn’t actually participate in the event, I can imagine that one day we’ll hear a car door slam in the drive, Zak’s ears will prick up, and we will hear Mike’s voice round the door saying “Come on, Zak, it’s time for training!” .

There was a very good turnout from the Holmfirth Harriers and Longwood Harriers,  which no doubt would have chuffed him no end, and apparently the service went well, with no hitches.  We had our own little service here: I lit some incense, and played The Joy of Living, Sound The Trumpets, and The Song of The Ungirt Runners, and I broke out the dog treats and the doggies had some each. Our own service, however, was interrupted twice, once by an idiot at the door trying to sell me cavity wall insulation, and once by the district nurse who had come to stick a needle in my arm as it was 12 weeks since my last iron injection, apparently. Who knew? Apart from her, of course.
       
Anyway, that was Mike’s sendoff, and it was probably one he’d have appreciated. I would like to bet even now he’s arguing with God and annoying the angels by asking for his meals at odd times of the day and night. In between running through the Elysian Fields with Lucy, Freddie and Tiggy in tow.

I’ve been largely ignoring the outside world this week, deliberately, inasmuch as it is possible to do so. Some things, however, are impossible to tune out. Jeremy Clarkson has been suspended, which cheered me up somewhat, until I realised it was only on paper and didn’t actually involve a length of rope with a knot in it.  The depressing thing is that more people have signed the petition for him to be reinstated after allegedly lamping a BBC producer than have signed many of the more worthy petitions on the go at the moment, including the one urging the continued funding of cancer drugs.

It just goes to show where, as a nation, our priorities now lie, especially as the Prime Minister apparently also spoke up in Clarkson’s defence. I am not entirely sure that Clarkson is actually the boorish, laddish buffoon he appears to be: it’s a carefully-crafted persona intended to press the buttons of the compassionally-challenged viewers of Top Gear, something he does supremely well. Whether he actually believes that public sector workers should be shot, or that reciting “eeny meeny miny mo” on air is acceptable, or that Gordon Brown is a “one-eyed Scottish idiot”, he knows that his viewers do, and he panders to their idea of what he is. Anyway, it’s all a storm in a teacup (or possibly a wine-glass, if reports are to be believed) because even if the BBC do let him go, he’ll just pop up on Sky TV or Channel 4, peddling the usual dismal crap.

Someone else who has been busy peddling dismal crap is Nigel Farage, who floated, in a recording of a forthcoming documentary for Chanel 4, that UKIP, if it ever got to power, would scrap much of the framework of race relations and racial discrimination legislation in Britain.. Although he was quick to row back from the specifics of this when quizzed by subsequent reporters, it was actually a very clever piece of kite-flying. If it’s not too mixed a metaphor, he has managed to blow the dog whistle and gain the attention of the many ill-informed bigots who think that there’s too many of ‘em over here taking our jobs and putting pressure on our resources, and all they have to do is rock up at Dover docks to be handed a set of car keys, a council house and a widescreen TV. All of which is complete bollocks of course, but  Farage, like Clarkson, is a wolf in boor’s clothing, and he knows his audience – probably better than they do, since voting for a party who have no policies and can’t actually deliver on their main raison d’etre, isn’t exactly indicative of self-knowledge or self-awareness. 

Labour, of course, are still failing to make a dent in even the Tories, let alone UKIP. William Morris outlined his vision for a socialist future in News From Nowhere. With Ed Miliband doing his best to impersonate Gussie Fink-Nottle, it seems that the best we can expect from Labour is newts from nowhere.

Meanwhile, in my home town, hard on the heels of the disgraceful “Beggars Can Be Choosers” posters, comes the news that Hull City Council's environmental health officials have contacted Hull Homeless Outreach to say they are breaching food hygiene regulations by serving the food at St Mary's Church in Lowgate.

Sarah Hemingway, of the charity, told the Hull Daily Mail:

"Environmental health called us out of the blue to tell us we couldn't serve hot food anymore because we don't meet the criteria. They told us they would prosecute if we carried on. We have been providing curries and sausage casseroles, which are cooked by our volunteers at home. Now we are not even allowed to provide sandwiches made by volunteers. This has left us deeply frustrated, as about 50 people come to our soup kitchen on each of the two nights we are here. For some, this is the only chance of a hot meal they get each week. How can us serving this food be any worse than them having to rummage around bins for something to eat?”

Because the charity doesn’t actually own a kitchen, the environmental health officers think there are concerns over the potential for food poisoning. This now leaves the charity in the position of only being able to serve tea, coffee, and tinned soup to its customers.  This is the mealy-mouthed jobsworth official prodnose “explanation” provided by the apologies for humanity who are determined to implement this stupidity against all reason and common sense:

"Following a complaint from a member of the public, advice was provided to the Hull Homeless Outreach team and any issues were cleared up at a meeting yesterday. The company has not registered the business, there were no catering facilities at the church and there was cooking of food in a number of home environments that were similarly not registered and that are likely to be inadequate. It has been agreed that hot beverages, tinned soup heated up at the church in a soup kettle, bread and pack-ups of wrapped, shelf stable short-life products can be provided until suitable fixed premises or a mobile catering unit is provided."

Well, a) the “member of the public” who complained should be ashamed of themselves and I hope they choke on their next meal, and b) since when has the provision of charity to those less fortunate than ourselves been a “business” which as to be “registered”. Have these people really nothing better to do than to prowl the streets like Nazi gauleiters checking to see if people’s papers are in order?

The charity’s director, James Bowie, summed up their predicament:

"We are shocked by this move. We take food hygiene very seriously, particularly as we are dealing with vulnerable people. When our volunteers cook the food at home it is brought here and served immediately. We have been doing this for about a year and we have never had any problems. Also, our service users are used to the routine and any changes to that can have serious welfare issues. We are considering a number of options and have looked at buying a cheap catering trailer. St Mary's is planning to install a kitchen but that is all subject to funding and some way down the line. Whichever way you look at it, it will cost money and we aren't a funded organisation. We would appeal to anyone who may have suitable kitchen premises to let us know."

They have now had to start a fundraising appeal, via Facebook. So, there you have it. Another boneheaded decision from a local authority that obviously sees homelessness as something to be managed, swept under the carpet, pushed away to somewhere else, so it becomes someone else’s problem. Go, move, shift.  Normally I am a great defender of the public services, but examples like this make me think maybe Jeremy Clarkson has a point. When I hear someone speaking of “hot beverages” and “shelf-stable pre-packed products”, then I reach for my revolver, to paraphrase Herman Goering.

But then, what did I expect, from a country that grows more bigoted and intolerant every day. Look at the furore over the “Inclusive Mosque” event at St John’s church, in Waterloo, London, which is believed to be the first full Islamic prayer service ever held within the Church of England. Canon Giles Goddard was approached by a Muslim organisation about holding an event to mark International Women’s Day. He said:

We are offering a place for people to pray so it made absolutely perfect sense … we should be offering places to pray, we are the Church of England. They could have gone to a community centre I suppose, but they loved being in a church, they were just really pleased and delighted to have the welcome and it was very moving really, It is the same God, we share a tradition.”

I have often said as much. The world’s religions are like a group of partially sighted men clustering round an elephant. Each of them is trying to describe it, interpret it, from their own particular standpoint, but none of them realises that it is, in fact, al part of the same elephant.

The event began with a traditional Muslim call to prayer but the main worship was led by a Muslim woman, Dr Amina Wadud. At the end, Canon Goddard read Psalm 139, telling the congregation:

“This is from the Hebrew scripture … we all share these great traditions, so let us celebrate our shared traditions, by giving thanks to the God that we love, Allah.”

For this particular act of outreach, he has been castigated and told he may have broken canon law. He has also, which will no doubt count as a black mark against him for all eternity, upset the readers of the Daily Telegraph.  That would be an ecumenical matter, as Father Dougal would doubtless say, but personally I don’t see why you can’t wander into any sacred space and say a prayer to your God, whether it be God, Allah, Jehovah, Shiva, or the Great Sky-Turtle A’tuin (sex unknown). RIP, Terry Pratchett, by the way.

Anyway, today has brought us to Sunday, which is the fourth Sunday in Lent, apparently, Year B, according to the Lectionary. I must admit, I have not been particularly inspired by the choice of Saints’ days available today, nor indeed by the Bible readings specified in the said Lectionary, most of which seem to relate to Moses sticking a golden serpent on the end of a stick and raising it up. I guess you had to be there.  I confess, I may be feeling a bit jaded as far as the afterlife is concerned, in a week which contained not only Mike’s funeral, but, having been spurred on by that event, me also digging out and starting to revise my own will and funeral arrangements, to make sure that, when I go, I don’t leave an absolute bugger’s muddle of spag bol for Debbie to untangle.

What I did notice, though, was that one of the hymns specifically chosen as being appropriate for today was My Song Is Love Unknown, written by Samuel Crossman in 1664 and these days most often sung to the tune composed by John Ireland (1879-1962) a fine composer in his own right (he did Amberley Wildbrooks) and also a student of Charles Villiers Stanford, whose “Mag in G” has echoed around many an ecclesiastical edifice.

My song is love unknown
My saviour’s love for me
Love to the loveless shown
That they might lovely be 

Oh who am I
That for my sake,
My Lord should take frail flesh, and die?

“Love unknown” is an interesting phrase in the context, because for me it encapsulates my own understanding of the nature of divine love – i.e., it’s a complete mystery to me!  The questioner, who sits so sly, to quote W H Auden, will ask “why does the God you worship allow suffering and illness, why does he allow people to kill and torture each other in his name, and why did he have to sacrifice his only son to redeem the world from sin, when he doesn’t seem to have done a very good job, does he?” and when I have caught my breath, I can only say a) I don’t worship him, I respect him at best, and sometimes I am thankful when things turn out better than I thought, b – love unknown, c) I can only assume they are punished for it in an alternative universe, but don’t make the mistake of confusing misguided violent zealotry with religion, and d) – love unknown.

The more perceptive of you, those that are still awake by this point, will note that I am relying on “love unknown” for the answer to two of those questions. In other words, I have no idea, other than that for some reason there seems to be an unfathomable aspect to the relationship between me and what he Victorians would probably call “My Maker” that I simply cannot work out. Except to say that it’s probably something to do with a very large elephant, of which I am only seeing a very small part.  For now, I see through a glass darkly, but then, face to face.

Who, indeed, am I, that Jesus should sacrifice himself in human guise on my behalf? And how does all that work, anyway? In my darkest hours, I dismiss it as hogwash, or at best a regurgitation of a number of widely-prevalent regeneration myths, from Tammuz to Baldur.  Then I remember that, since what we think of as reality is absolutely nothing of the sort, there must be something else, that underpins everything. I have struck the board, and cried “no more”, like George Herbert, and then I hear the voice calling “child”. Where I then go off at a tangent is that I can’t see any way in which it could also encompass morality, especially in a world where I believe there is no such thing as absolute morality.  Either way, it doesn’t help, so allow me to declare now, once and for all, that if God does love me, I have absolutely no bloody idea why, nor do I know why he cares to show it in such obscure ways, and nor do I expect I will ever find out, this side of the bright portal of death.

It is also mothering Sunday here in the UK, the day when, traditionally, indentured female servants were allowed time off to visit their mothers. I imagine the Tories will probably have something similar in their manifesto. The day has set me thinking again about my mother, whose funereal image that I mentioned above has now been replaced by those of happier times. I wonder how she’s getting on in heaven, and, indeed, if we all manufacture our own heaven on the hoof, on another plane, in the same way as physicists tell us we all make up our own reality as we go along in this world, what her heaven would be like? I hope she’s up there, listening to Jim Reeve and Slim Whitman, with a pot of tea on the go and Ginger the cat on her knee, looking forward to a session of bingo, or even a live performance by Morecambe and Wise, if the dead can “do” live performances in heaven.  It’s nice to think that a small part of heaven looks just like the saloon bar of The Fox and Coney at South Cave in the 1950s, with my mother at the piano playing In The Mood.

I have to say, also, that if we do all make up our own reality as we go along, then I really ought to have made up a better one for myself, next week, with two book launches to organise, two (different) books to lay out, and a VAT return to complete. It’s going to be a busy week in the Holme Valley. But then I guess you already knew that.

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