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Sunday, 7 February 2016

Epiblog for the Feast of St Richard The Pilgrim



It has been a busy week in the Holme Valley. New week, new storm, seems to be the rule these days, and this week it was Storm Henry’s turn.  With predictable results. The rain it raineth every day, as Feste was always fond of pointing out at the drop of a lute.  I seem to remember, though, that a few weeks ago we had Storm Jason, so either we’re now naming storms without reference to alphabetical order, completely at random, or I imagined it. It’s quite likely that I imagined it.

Matilda treats every storm the same way, these days, she suspends operations, comes indoors, and curls up on one of her many Maisie-blankets in one of her many favourite sleeping places. She’s doing it now, in fact, although it hasn’t been that bad a day, so far. In fact, whisper it not in Gath, publish it not in the streets of Ashkelon, but there was almost a spring-y feel to things when I went out earlier to put the rubbish in the bin. Maisie’s indestructible daffodils are coming up again near Russell and Nigel’s mosaic, in the garden, and in the front garden there are several burgeoning clumps of snowdrops – Fair Maids of February. I’ve a feeling that we haven’t seen the back of winter yet, but I am starting vaguely to think about putting in an order for this year’s herbs.

The birds and squirrels are busy as usual, another sign that spring may be just around the corner. In a week’s time, traditionally, they pick their mates for this year, at least according to Chaucer.  As I type this there is a big fat wood pigeon eating out of one side of the dish of bird food and a squirrel eating out of the other. They are even taking it in turns – first the squirrel has a go, then it backs off and the pigeon gets some – I suspect, though, this is more to do with mutual fear and mistrust than good table manners.

Misty has had some longer than usual walks this week as it’s what the College refer to as “review week” so some of Deb's classes have been cancelled in favour of meetings instead, for which, of course, she gets paid less! Fewer classes means less prep, which means more time for doggy walkies, so at least someone benefited.

Mention of Nigel, above, also reminds me that this week has seen some significant events and anniversaries.  On 2nd February, it was eight years since Nigel died. He chose a significant day for his transit to cat heaven, because of course that date also marked the festival of Candlemas, the feast of St Brigid, and Imbolc, the pagan festival that marks the mid-way point between the winter solstice and the equinox. So it was all go, except that we didn’t particularly celebrate any of them! It was also Groundhog Day, where Puxatawney Pete, the groundhog, who has been busy carving out a second career as Donald Trump’s hair, emerges from his hole in Pennsylvania, and either forages around, or gets surprised by his own shadow and scuttles back into his lair, presaging another six weeks of winter.

It was also Groundhog Day, where Puxatawney Pete, the groundhog, who has been busy carving out a second career as Donald Trump’s hair, emerges from his hole in Pennsylvania, and either forages around, or gets surprised by his own shadow and scuttles back into his lair, presaging another six weeks of winter. And yes I think I did that joke at this time last year as well, which is sort of ironic in a groundhoggy sort of a way.  The British version of the legend is the old weather-saying of “If Candlemas Day dawns bright and clear, there’ll be two winters in the one year!” I must admit I missed dawn on Candlemas Day itself, so I have no idea what is going to happen (no change there, then). 

Actually, that’s not true. I do know one thing that’s going to happen, which is that the government, or more specifically the Prime Minister, will carry on coming out with ever-increasing torrents of bovine excrement as he tried to bluff his way through the forthcoming EU referendum. It’s all about looking tough, you see, which means, given the corner he’s painted himself into, coming out with the sort of xenophobic claptrap and hate-speech that most appeals to the white van men of bigot Britain.  So it’s open season on any soft target that can’t hit back.  This week, it was disability, which is apparently a lifestyle choice.

Yes, David Cameron, you have seen through my cunning plan to choose two parents who possessed dodgy genes, which led to me choosing this nice comfy wheelchair to bool around in, and led to me choosing not to sleep for longer than an hour at a time before the pain and cramp in my legs wakes me up again. And I would have gotten away with it, but for you pesky Tories.  If you ask me, David Cameron has made a lifestyle choice to be an irritating, pink-faced, millionaire who makes a habit of telling lies every time he opens his mouth, and he needs to be weaned off it.

In the week when we were being told we were scroungers in order to keep the knuckledraggers of the right feel secure in the misapprehensions to which they have become accustomed, news emerged of an MP who had remembered to claim 49p for a carton of milk on expenses, but omitted to mention the additional £400,000 in income he’d received that year. Somehow, it slipped his mind, what with having to remember about the 49p and everything. Or perhaps the money was just resting in his bank account, who knows. 

If anyone was in any doubt at all about the depth and scale of the stupidity of the people who think all Muslims are terrorists and everyone on benefits is a scrounger, one only had to take a look at the Facebook Page of the British National Party on the day an old unexploded world war two bomb was found at Victoria Station in London and brought proceedings to a halt until it could be defused.  Given that the BNP is, in any case, so far to the right that it’s four stops past Barking and well off the bus route, its utterances usually come with a pinch of froth and spittle anyway, but they excelled themselves this time, with post after post blaming the UXB on “Muslims”.

Yes, those fiendishly cunning Muslims. First they learn German and manage to knock up some Luftwaffe uniforms, then they find out how to build a replica of a Heinkel III and somehow fly it backwards in time 76 years to bomb London from the air. Gor’ blimey, guv’nor, we’ve got our work cut out with this lot.  And while all this was going on, as if the Lords of Misrule were somehow abroad and having a field day, a high court judge declared Lord Lucan officially dead.  I don’t know if anyone took the opportunity of checking the judge’s pulse, while they were at it.

I only ask because I seem to have been taken to task for being critical of the judiciary, specifically, being critical of their habit of handing down lenient sentences to people who deliberately kill and injure animals for “fun”.  It arose out of the incident of Missy the Bus-Stop cat, which was a cat that used to make a habit on sleeping at a specific bus-shelter in Leigh Park near Havant, where it had become a regular fixture and was greeted, and petted by many travellers and commuters. Sadly, this weekend, it was discovered in a badly-injured state and had to be put to sleep. The presumption was, at the time, that yobboes were responsible, although there is now also a theory that she may have been struck by a passing car.

I was angry when I read about it. Especially if it was the yobboes who did it. I make no apologies for calling them yobboes, in fact, I have called them much worse, but out of respect for the Sabbath, we’ll stick at yobboes.  I’m talking about the sort of people that – a while ago now – burned down the stables of Barnsley Riding for the Disabled; the people who set fire to Manchester Dogs’ Home; the dog-fighting rings; the people who think it’s funny to chuck hedgehogs out of tower block windows.

At the moment, under the Animal Welfare Act, the maximum sentence that can be handed down in cases of extreme cruelty and causing the death of an animal deliberately is a 26 week custodial sentence.  All too often, however, this is lessened to community service and/or a fine.  This is no deterrent.  Part of the problem is that the existing laws are rooted in outdated 19th century attitudes to animal welfare, in an era when life generally was brutish and nasty and animal life didn’t really matter except insofar as it affected economic factors – the loss of a working dog or a horse, for instance.  In the last 150 years, notwithstanding that the Tories want to scrap the welfare state and the NHS, get people begging in the streets again and stuff children back up chimneys, we have made great strides in legislature concerning human welfare, but animal welfare is still stuck in the era of the steam train and the public hanging.

A cat, for instance, is regarded as merely a chattel, from the point of view of its ownership in law, and a dog is not much better. The only reason that you have to stop and find out who the owner is, if you run over a dog, is that you have potentially done them some economic harm, if it was a working animal.  This sort of outmoded approach to framing the law needs to be fast-forwarded.  So I have started an official government petition (link here) to put a new offence on the statute book, of animal murder, which brings with it, on conviction, a minimum jail term of five years with no remission or parole, automatic entry on a new “animal offenders’ register” along the same lines as the existing sex offenders’ register, and a lifetime ban on keeping animals or partaking in any employment connected with animals.

To date, it has garnered 198 signatures – for a government response (which will inevitably take the form of ‘the existing legislation is sufficient’) it needs 10,000, and for a full debate in parliament, 100,000. So there is a way to go yet. But the journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step.  A magistrate pointed out to me that the reason they don’t hand down tougher sentences is that “they just get overturned on appeal” which leads me to question “why is the original tough sentence seen as unjust?” and the only answer I can come up with is that our existing laws have led us to accept the insidious assumption that animal life is somehow not worthy of protection. Ultimately, that is what has to change, but at least if the CPS have a tough new deterrent to use in the very worst cases of premeditated cruelty, leading to the death of an animal with malice aforethought, then this is a step down that road.

So, that is what I have been doing this week, in what is laughingly called my “spare time”.  And somehow, another week has whizzed by, and it’s Sunday again.  Sadly, in the time I have been typing this, the day which started out so promising, weather-wise, has deteriorated to such an extent that I expect shortly there will be drowned-rat Debbie and two soggy doggies barrelling through the door and competing to get next to the stove and steam themselves dry.  So I had better get a move on and deal with the main event of the evening, as Kent Walton used to say in his intros – the fact that this day is the feast of St Richard of Wessex.

I got quite excited when I saw it was St Richard because initially I was confusing him with Richard of Chichester, who is a different St Richard, and whose feast is celebrated on June 16th as “Sussex Day”. Oh well. An easy mistake to make, what with them both being saints, and both being called Richard, and all.

Today’s St Richard is also known as St Richard The Pilgrim, and he was supposedly born in Wessex, and thought to have been both the brother in law of St Boniface and the father of St Willibald, St Winnibald, and St Walburga. So it was definitely a family business, especially so in that one of Richard’s early miracles was the cure, through prayer, of his son Willibald, at the age of three, when the child fell seriously ill. 

Although of noble blood, Richard renounced all his titles and set sail with two of his sons from Hamble, near Southampton on the Solent estuary, on a pilgrimage. This was in about the year 721AD.  Landing in France, they made their way to Rouen, where, after a brief stay to regroup, they started out along the pilgrim route to Rome, and thence to the Holy Land, their ultimate destination, stopping to pray at shrines and holy sites en route. Unfortunately, Richard never reached his destination. He fell ill in the town of Lucca, in Tuscany, and died there. He was buried in the Church of San Frediano in that town, and almost immediately, miracles began to be reported at the site of his tomb.

The main source for this information is a single volume, written some time between AD 761 and AD 786, a chronicle of the expedition written by Richard’s niece, Huneburc of Heidenheim, and continued by Willibald, Richard’s son.  Willibald eventually became bishop of Eichstatt and took some of Richard’s relics back there with him on his return journey. His cult is still particularly strong in the area of Heidenheim and at Lucca, his original burial place.

Normally, I struggle to find a particular lesson appropriate to my situation in these tales of the old saints, most of which seem to follow a somewhat formulaic pattern.  But there are two aspects of this story that, this week in particular, struck home. The idea that life is a pilgrimage, and the concept of having the faith to set out on a journey that you know you might not finish.  Given that a step is roughly a yard (or it was, when I could still walk) and a thousand yards is a mile, more or less, then 100,000 steps is 100 miles, or roughly the distance from here to Walsingham! In terms of my animal petition as a pilgrimage that may fail before it reaches its destination, I have done 198 yards! 

I do often think of life in terms of a pilgrimage, whereby we undergo the privations of journeying and put ourselves out, and force ourselves to forsake the familiar hearth in order to learn new things about ourselves and about others, and develop.  I had in mind, before I was ill, to do one or two real pilgrimages, and one of my favourite books, to the extent that I am now on my second copy of it, is Cees Van Nooteboom’s Roads To Santiago.  Although ostensibly about Spain, like all good travel books it’s as much a tour through the internal landscapes of the author’s mind as it is a guide to all the cathedrals, monasteries and Black Madonnas.

And, in the same way as Nooteboom can chronicle an internal pilgrimage while actually being on a real one, I’ve come to understand, these last five years, that I can chronicle and create an external pilgrimage simply by going on an internal one. In a sense, the actual pilgrimage “experience” becomes superfluous. I could do with some sun, obviously, but as far as privations go, I carry my own with me these days (it’s a lifestyle choice, don’t you know?) and I am constantly breaking into new, and potentially scary territory.  Plain food? Lack of sleep? Been there, done that. Every winter is a pilgrimage, into which I set off with just the faith that I am going somehow to make it through the darkness and emerge, blinking, like Puxatawney Pete, into the pale February sunshine.  Give me my scallop shell of quiet, as Sir Walter Raleigh, cloak dangler and inventor of the smoking potato, once wrote:

Give me my scallop-shell of quiet,
My staff of faith to walk upon,
My scrip of joy, immortal diet,
My bottle of salvation,
My gown of glory, hope's true gage;
And thus I'll take my pilgrimage.

The only thing that’s been a bit lacking on my pilgrimages has been the spiritual enlightenment at the end of it, but perhaps I’m not there yet.  So, fare forward, pilgrims, and keep right on to the end of the road, even if your destination is literally and metaphorically “round the bend.”











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