Dispensing Witan Wisdom Since The Days of King Eggbound The Unready...

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Sunday, 17 May 2015

Epiblog for Ascension Sunday



  
It has been a busy week in the Holme valley. Not without incident, but mostly unremarkable. Just how I like it, in fact.There have been no ghastly and untoward shocks, apart from some idiot couriers not delivering some books on Thursday morning as they were supposed to, and paid to. But even that resolved itself in the end, in an unprecedented outbreak of serendipity.  Today, of course, has been a different matter, but Matilda has been going to and fro with no obvious alarums or excursions, the squirrels and the birds have had their sunflower seeds, and maybe the badger has graced us with another visit, as one morning I found that the dish had not only been emptied but also turned over, as if grasped in a pair of strong jaws and upended to get at the last leavings.  The weather could have been better on a couple of days, but basically God’s in his heaven, and all’s right with the world (well, not quite, but more of that later).

Misty and Zak have been off, too, over hills and mountains high with Debbie. In the course of Thursday, Friday and Saturday this week, they did a total of 42 miles, mostly over the moors around Wessenden.  Ellie’s little legs can’t cope with that sort of thing, as we have discovered, so generally she’s been staying here with me, either snoring away in the chair (on a strangely basso profundo note for such a small, white dog) or pottering around the park with Granny.

It was Debbie’s birthday this week, so we did at least sort of take Friday off, although we didn’t do anything special, other than welcome her sister, on a flying weekend visit from Southampton, and the whole family went out for a celebratory meal on Friday night while I did the dog-sitting.

I’ve been trying to progress my “rampside” garden of plants in tubs, and this week I made significant progress, getting the tubs in place on their stacks of bricks, with the hurdle currently balanced above them, but sadly, today, I ran out of topsoil, so I am still unable to finish it.  Having said that, the plug plants in their trays are still progressing well, so with a bit of luck, maybe, this week I’ll get them planted out.

Gardening is therapeutic, at any rate, certainly when compared to watching the news. Mr Cameron was quick to warn us that if Labour got into power at the next election, almost the first thing they would do would be to get in cahoots with the dangerous extremists of the SNP. So this week, he set off for Scotland, to, er, hold talks with the dangerous extremists of the SNP.

The SNP are a very principled party, led by a very principled leader, who makes it clear what she stands for. Mind you, the last time we had one of those, it was Mrs Thatcher, and we all know where that led.  Still, it’s good to know the SNP has principles, such as, for instance, the principle of agreeing to abstain in a vote on the restoration of fox hunting in return for an extra thirty pieces of silver for Scotland. It must be nice to have principles.

Mr Cameron has also been brandishing his principles in public.  Especially his Christian principles.  He isn’t the first Tory leader to seek to appropriate Christianity to his own ends, of course, Mrs Thatcher (I need to be careful here, I’ve mentioned her twice – one more time and she might appear!) was fond of saying words to the effect that it was only because the Good Samaritan had invested wisely and bought British Gas shares and his own council house that he had enough money to help the man who fell among thieves: if the parable were to be translated to the modern-day xenophobic rat-hole which the UK has been turned into by the Blight Brigade and their ilk, the Good Samaritan would probably be deported, assuming he managed to get into the country in the first place.

Actually, that would be a good place to start. Perhaps Mr Cameron can explain what, precisely, is “Christian” about his proposed alternative to offering sanctuary to a quota of the Mediterranean refugees: bombing the boats of the people traffickers at their North African moorings.

Or what, specifically, is “Christian” about presiding over policies which deliberately set out to damage the poor, bearing in mind that the meek shall apparently inherit the earth? What is “Christian” about making the rich richer and the poor poorer, when it says in the Bible that it is harder for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven than it is for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle?

As a “Christian”, David Cameron should know that “we’re all in this together” means you’re supposed to love your neighbour as yourself – unless, of course, your neighbour happens to be ill, disabled, or, worst of all, on benefits, because then, according to the Blight Brigade, you cease to be worthy of love and become instead an object of derision, a scapegoat for all of society’s ills.

I recommend Mr Cameron reinforces his new-found faith by some judicious Bible study.  The texts to which I would direct his attention are as follows:

Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye pay tithe of mint and anise and cummin, and have omitted the weightier matters of the law, judgment, mercy, and faith: these ought ye to have done, and not to leave the other undone.   Ye blind guides, which strain at a gnat, and swallow a camel. Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye make clean the outside of the cup and of the platter, but within they are full of extortion and excess.  Thou blind Pharisee, cleanse first that which is within the cup and platter, that the outside of them may be clean also.  Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye are like unto whited sepulchres, which indeed appear beautiful outward, but are within full of dead men's bones, and of all uncleanness.  Even so ye also outwardly appear righteous unto men, but within ye are full of hypocrisy and iniquity.  Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! because ye build the tombs of the prophets, and garnish the sepulchres of the righteous,

It’s Matthew 23: 23-29, if you want to look it up, Prime Minister.  I am sure Mr Cameron won’t mind me pointing these out to him, because, after all, he did say that he wants Christians in this country to be more “evangelical”. Because, after all, “evangelical” always works well, just ask the Westboro Baptist Church. Or Isis, for that matter. But, says Mr Cameron, apparently unconscious of the old joke that “if there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s intolerance”, and totally impervious to irony, he thinks that we’ve all been too tolerant for too long.  I disagree. The one thing that still, just about, differentiates us from the bad guys is the last shreds of our once tolerant, respectful and caring society. Take that away, and you can’t fit a fag paper between us and the idiots who stone people, or cut off their hands, or whip them in public, because it is the will of Allah. Or God. Or whoever.

In fact, Cameron said something that would not have been out of place had it emanated from the mouth of a mad Mullah in Saudi Arabia.  Basically, obeying the law is no longer enough to keep you from the attention of the authorities.  From now on, presumably, you will be watched for a variety of reasons, including failing to join the Tory party, or failing to cheer enthusiastically enough at torchlight parades.  They’re going to have a problem with me, because this week I joined not the Blue Rinse Set, but the Labour Party. This may well be a mistake, but at least I have done it by direct debit, which is cancellable without doing too much financial damage. I joined online with a heavy heart, and in the “reason for joining” field I put that “someone has to sort out the shambles that has saddled us with another five years of Tory nuclear winter”. I have previously resisted being a member of any organised political party, on the grounds that it makes it easy for your opponents then to turn around and say “well, you would say that, wouldn’t you, because you’re a Labour supporter”. I haven’t joined the Labour Party to support the Labour Party, right or wrong.  I have joined it so that I will at least have a voice that might be listened to in the post-disaster inquest, and a say in how it goes forwards from this point.  They certainly didn’t listen to me before the election, even when I emailed them it, with links. And if they don’t listen afterwards, the direct debit will be cancelled faster than you can say Tolpuddle Martyr.

Prince Charles also knows what it’s like to be ignored by the political classes, at least from the evidence of his so-called “black spider” letters which were finally published this week in response to a lengthy freedom of information request dispute. Personally, I don’t see what the fuss was about: it would have been much more of a surprise if Prince Charles, as a member of a family that actively enjoys “field sports” (which is what rich people call ripping animals to pieces with a pack of dogs) wasn’t in favour of the badger cull.  Still, it’s good that we live in a Christian country, one where Tesco, for instance, can instigate a prosecution against people who were forced to scavenge for discarded food in the bins outside the back of one of those stores. Fortunately, the judge threw the case out, but as Joanna Blythman wrote about it in The Guardian:

Paul and Kerry Barker fit the label of “hardworking families” that politicians bandy about. Or they did, that is, until Paul Barker had to quit his job after breaking his back while working as a scaffolder, and post-natal depression forced Kerry to give up her job at Durham county council. They finally became desperate enough to steal food from bins when her benefits were stopped after she missed a meeting earlier in the year. The couple’s two children now live with their grandparents because their parents can’t afford to feed them. That’s how grim things are for the Barkers.

No doubt Mr Cameron has matters in hand, probably with a plan which involves five loaves and two fishes.

For such a pleasant week, at least at home, if not in the country at large, today has proved to be a complete and utter disaster.  I didn’t have enough topsoil to finish planting out my tubs, and the axle of the front bogie wheel on the wheelchair came loose yet again and almost tipped me out on the ramp. I just made it back inside and boarded out of the chair in time to fix it with the Allen key. Why, when we allegedly have a national health service that is supposed to fix wheelchairs, are they unable to do so? Yes, that’s a rhetorical question. I know. It’s because the entire country, including the NHS – especially the NHS, under the Blight Brigade – is going to hell in a handcart. In those circumstances, the wheel coming off is actually quite an appropriate metaphor.  And yes, I know, these, along with idiot couriers who can’t tell the time or read a map, and stupid Epson printers that don’t scan properly and can’t print labels or postcards, are very much first world problems. At least I haven’t had to watch my kid die from cholera or seen all my animals starve because the crops failed.

Anyway, I’ve had it with today.  Today, a day when I felt both ill and out of sorts with the world, a day when I have struggled and fought the good fight to no avail, is the Sunday after Ascension Day. Ascension Day, when Christ was taken up bodily into heaven, was Thursday, but I largely missed it owing to spending the day grappling with idiot couriers, see above.  In any case, following my brief flirtation with her last week, I have been exposing myself more fully to Julian of Norwich (quiet at the back, there.)

No one knows her real name, and she was only designated Julian of Norwich because she set up as an anchoress in St Julian’s Church, in that flat East Anglian town.  But whatever her real name was, it is as Julian of Norwich that she has come down to us.

After briefly revising her writings for last week’s blog, I actually invested in a copy of The Revelations of Divine Love, and read it from cover to cover. It’s not that long.  I read most of it at one sitting, in the driveway, on the end of my wheelchair ramp, on Thursday morning, while waiting to ambush the dustmen to make sure they took the bin. I contend strongly that I must have been the only person in England who was simultaneously engaged in those two particular activities.

Anyway, re-reading Julian of Norwich, several things jumped out at me straight away, which I’d forgotten, or may not even have noticed, when I first read it, many years ago, as an adjunct to studying the works of T S Eliot.  The most obvious one was re-reading the famous passage about the hazel nut.

Also in this he showed a little thing the quantity of a hazel nut lying in the palm of my hand, as it had seemed to me, This little thing that is made that is beneath our Lady Saint Mary, God showed me as little as it had been a hazel nut, and to my understanding, and it was as round as a ball. I looked thereupon with the eye of my understanding  and thought, 'What may this be?' And it was generally answered thus,  'It is all that is made'. I marveled how it might last, for I thought it might suddenly have fallen to nought for littleness. And I was answered in my understanding, 'It lasts and ever shall, for God loves it'.

The thing that I know now, of course, that I didn’t know then, is about the concept of the singularity. The science behind black holes and the big bang was largely unformed back in the 1970s, though since then it has been developed and published and even re-gurgitated by people like John Gribben for the “popular reader”, ie me.  Sadly, I dropped physics in the third year, like a red hot brick, never to pick it up again, so I have a lot of catching up to do.  But I do know that apparently at the core of every black hole there is a point where time stops, according to Einstein at any rate – the very small, very dense core. Seemingly every galaxy has a black hole at its centre.  It was also, apparently, supposedly, a singularity such as this, an incredibly small, incredibly dense particle of matter that was the origin of everything, at the big bang.

I don’t know what lies on the other side of the singularity, or indeed if any of the boffins have any idea.  To the puzzled layman (that’s me, folks) physics seems to be stuck at the moment for want of something to unify the theories of all the big stuff with all the theories of the small stuff, and take into account string theory and multiverses as well.  I realise that’s a horrendous over generalisation, which will have physicists and people of a more scientific bent than myself throwing up their hands in horror, but just hold that thought, because in a moment I am going to come out with a real lulu that will have you reaching for your pearl-handled Luger.

I ask this from a standpoint of pure ignorance, so feel free to shoot the idea down in flames, but why can’t the singularities at the centre of each galaxy be the portals to the multiverse. You get the other side of the singularity, and everything starts up again, except you’re in a slightly different universe, and that universe also contains galaxies with a black hole at their centre, and so on.

Very good, I hear you cry, but what has this to do with religion? Well, if God really is this “thing” outside of time and space which encompasses everything that ever was, is, and shall be, world without end, amen, including all of the possible permutations of all of the possible universes, where God has all eternity to listen to the momentary prayer of the dying airman, as C S Lewis said, the model of the universe I’ve just described would not be incompatible with this, necessarily. In fact, one could even go further and posit that it might be infused with an intelligence which would gradually direct you through several portals until you arrived at an alternative universe where everything was joy and light eternal and there was no pain and suffering, where, as Julian of Norwich puts it, “all shall be well and all manner of thing shall be well” – or “heaven”, as it’s sometimes known.

I realise I am getting into some pretty strange theology here, and I feel a bit like Galilleo (Figaro Magnifico-oh-oh-oh-oh) must have felt when he had the temerity to suggest that the earth went round the sun rather than vice versa.  But the more modern science explores the physics behind reality, the less “real” reality becomes, and you have to ask yourself, if everything that we think of as being solid, reliable, and durable, is actually just some sort of flickering flim-flam of electrical energy, then what is actually real? What’s behind it all?  It could be that the entire universe is being run by a bloke with a home-made Van-Der-Graaf Generator in a shed in Droitwich. It could be an old bloke on a throne, with a flowing beard, and a penchant for hurling thunderbolts – or it could be something so far beyond our comprehension that we find ourselves in the position of a Neanderthal hunter-gatherer trying to think of, and describe, a computer.

The problem with this view of religion, of the universe, of God being in and around everything, is that it doesn’t really allow for any moral guidance or, indeed, any organisation.  When I have had my occasional thoughts that “all shall be well and all manner of thing shall be well”, it’s rarely if ever been in the context of a formal church service.  Once, I felt it in the church at Little Gidding, but I was alone there at the time, and not exactly taking part in a service – and, given the location, I have to allow for the fact that I may just have “grafted” the experience onto the moment, because I was there, in Eliot’s words, “to kneel, where prayer has been valid,” and that was what was expected of me, “in the draughty church, at smokefall.”

But organised religion has much to say about morality, and how we should live our lives, and this advice, although based on a 2000-year old desert survival manual for the Children of Israel, plus the teachings of Jesus written down for the first time up to a century after his death, is sometimes apposite. It would undoubtedly be a better world if we loved our neighbour as ourselves. But it’s also open to abuse, coercion and manipulation, and justifying bad things because someone somewhere has decided with absolutely no authority or compassion, that this act, whatever it is, is the will of God, or Allah, or whoever.

I wrote last week about Julian of Norwich’s attitude to sin, which can be (very crudely) summed up as being that sin is a learning process from which we grow nearer to God.  I said last week that I had difficulty with this. There are some people who seem so deliberately evil that it is almost impossible for me to believe that their conduct is simply mistaken.  But on the other hand, if you do allow for the fact that we all have a spark of the divine, the good, call it God or whatever, inside us, and that we are trying to get back to that happy state of childhood innocence and purity of heart, which is what the 17th-century Neo-Platonists believed, then there is a case to be advanced for “sin”, whatever its causes, to be the thing that obfuscates that process, that sets us back on the journey. This still leaves unresolved, though, the larger questions of what sin is, where it originates, and who decides what is a sin and what isn’t, and whether some sins are worse than others.

Either way, given the “Christian” values apparently espoused by our political leaders, and the curious absence of any correction from the Church of England, given how vocal they were before the election, I feel more than ever now that my church should be a grove of trees, and my choir the birds, and my holy water the rain that raineth every day. George Fox had the right idea, and if I could, I’d go up on the moors and shout alongside him, “Woe unto the Bloody Country of England!”

Who knows what next week will bring. Tomorrow can only be better, but to be honest, right now, I’m too tired to care.

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