Dispensing Witan Wisdom Since The Days of King Eggbound The Unready...

Not to mention "Left-Wing Pish"

Sunday 25 January 2015

Epiblog for the Feast of St Dwynwen


It has been a busy week in the Holme Valley. The snow finally came, and the snow finally went away again, pretty quickly, actually, but for one day, Wednesday, we had the usual winter chaos that Britain does oh so well every year: college declared it a “snow day” (ten out of ten for observation there) and closed at noon, which meant that Deb got home six hours early and was able to catch up on some sorely-needed sleep. Ironically enough, by the time the college took their decision, the snow had more or less stopped falling and a slow thaw began to set in, but still, you have to find joy where you can, as Karine Polwart would no doubt say if she were here right now.

Matilda stuck her head out of the conservatory door on Wednesday morning, sniffed disdainfully, and then she, too, declared it a snow day, beating Kirklees College to the decision by a good three hours, and returning to the settee, where she curled up with her tail over her nose and promptly went to sleep. Misty is made of sterner stuff; it’s a combination of the collie dog genes and all that mountain training she’s undergone with Debbie, I think, but even then, she didn’t linger outside any more than was necessary for her to do her “necessaries”.  I hate snow, of course, it’s massively inconvenient for me, and it means things “gang oft agley” – in the case of this week, the dustmen didn’t come on their appointed day, so now we are in a dustman limbo, not knowing what day to put it out. But there is a certain beauty in the way it covers up the brown ugliness of the garden at his dead time of year, and also there’s a certain point on a “snow day” where you know you can justifiably bank up the fire, pull up the drawbridge, and go to sleep, without anyone objecting.

The indigenous inhabitants of the garden, that is to say the birds and squirrels, were very glad of the absence of Matilda, which coincided with me putting out some wild bird food, peanuts, a suet block, and some fat balls. We even got the huge, dark crows (that normally treat any of our offerings with contempt) coming swooping down into the garden to land briefly and pick up a stale bread crust.  The birds have been suddenly very much in evidence this week for some reason, so I was able to tell Debbie that I had seen some great tits in the garden, with predictable results.

The squirrels have had their interest stimulated by the arrival of not only food, but also bedding material, in the form of a jiffy bag of cat fur sent to me by one of my Facebook friends. It did contain other things as well – some artists’ materials that had belonged to one of her family, and which were no longer required, but she had used the collected fur from her several cats as “void filler”. I put it out on the decking and the squirrels have been going bananas over it, it’s like people buying flat screen TVs on Black Friday.  So much so that, on Thursday, a squirrel actually missed its footing and fell off the conservatory roof. I just happened to look up at exactly the right moment and saw it plummet past the window and land in a big pot of climbing honeysuckle which Deb is training up a piece of trellis. Apparently unharmed, it emerged, sort of shook itself, then plunged back into the queue for cat fur.

I have had stranger things delivered than a jiffy bag stuffed with cat fur, but not many. Actually, I meant to check the Royal Mail’s list of prohibited substances which you are not allowed to send by post to see if cat fur was on there. It used to be a source of endless amusement to me, that list (“filth” is on it, for instance).  I know that grey squirrels are, as I’ve said before, in effect, just rats with very good PR, but they are undeniably cute. My mother-in-law tells me that grey squirrels are apparently taking over Europe, which will be an interesting development. They can’t do any worse than the current omnishambles who are running things.  And if they upset the people of Greece, unlike Angela Merkel, they are very easy to make into a kebab.

Another area of unexpected challenge to the political status quo manifested itself this week around Dr John Sentamu, Archbishop of York, and the comments he made on the publication of his new book, about the gross inequality in our society, after four years of “austerity”. Once again, we have a situation where the main opposition to our wonderful Junta seems to be The Church of England. I suppose at the end of the day it doesn’t really matter who opposes the Blight Brigade, as long as someone does, but Ed Miliband should look to his laurels.  Dr Sentamu has that gift, also shared by Jose Mourinho, of being able to say, of course, this is not a criticism of [insert name of politician, or in Mourinho’s case, referee] and then going on to slide the knife deftly home and provide exactly the sort of criticism which this is not. It is a skill which the young lad Miliband, the Labour Party’s equivalent of Gussie Fink-Nottle, needs to learn, and learn quickly, though I fear it may already be too late.

There is plenty of scope for opposition, though nobody seems to be overly bothered about exploiting it.  With fifteen weeks to go, the zombie parliament is truly dead in the water, with nothing to do and nothing to be done. At least it stops them causing more trouble, I suppose.  All the parties are now in full-on election mode, which is very depressing, yet Labour seem to be bereft of any vision and inspirational ideas.  The unemployment figures, for instance, are a case in point.  The official line, promulgated by the Office For National Statistics, is that unemployment is at a record low: The official version is that they ask a lot of people – enough people to be able to make strong estimates for the whole economy – questions about their employment status. The results are then reported as the official numbers. They also include people taking part in workfare-style schemes and people who have been sanctioned off JSA.

But as Alex Little pointed out in his blog this week, the findings of the Oxford University/London School of Hygiene & Tropical Medicine report suggest a situation where people who are sanctioned off benefits are being driven out of the system altogether, and therefore out of any figures. For a long time now I have been suspicious of the various official statistics, and there is certainly something about the matrix of figures surrounding unemployment, benefits, and the jobs market that just doesn’t stack up. The Labour Party should be exploiting this and using it as a stick with which to beat Mr Cameron. But for some reason, they aren’t, presumably because they are hoping, cynically, to use the same tactics if they find themselves in office.

Despite the fact that people on benefits (or rather, people no longer on benefits) seem to be leaching out of the figures, and a seemingly ever-growing number of people are giving up altogether trying to claim what is theirs, that’s still not enough for some people. Lynton Yates, the prospective UKIP candidate for Charnwood, Leicestershire, in the general election, thinks that Motability is a waste of money and that disabled people should have their cars taken away and be forced to catch the bus. I can see where he’s coming from: a disabled person in a wheelchair trying to catch the bus to the job centre might find that they can’t get on it, because the “disabled” space is taken up by a pushchair that the driver has no powers to remove. Then they’ll have to catch the next bus, be late for their appointment, and have their benefits sanctioned. Result.  With thinking like that, Lynton Yates is sure to find a cosy billet at the DWP in any forthcoming Tory/UKIP coalition.  He’s actually been suspended as a UKIP candidate, but sadly, not by a tender extremity. Where do they find these turnips?

I’m not denying that there are some areas where job recruitment is not only possible, but actually necessary. One of these is in the NHS, where there is a desperate shortage of GPs, for one thing.  Which made it somewhat of a surprise this week when I heard of the impending deportation of Dr Nadar Abood, a medic based in Lancashire.  Nadar Abood is  originally from Sudan.  She made herself unpopular with the Sudanese government when she supplied medicine to civilians in desperate need in Darfur, where hundreds of thousands of people are lacking humanitarian assistance because of the government’s blockade. I haven’t had time to research this fully, this week, having been preoccupied in distributing my own form of humanitarian aid to the squirrels, in the form of cat fur, but it looks to be another one of these cases where the Home Office is trying to appease the mad colonels in Gloucestershire who read The Daily Telegraph and believe every word of it, and other people who live two stops beyond Barking and well off the bus route, in the same way as Harley Miller, also a respected NHS employee was targeted.  Given the criminal stupidity of deporting a doctor when we are crying out for them at the moment, one could be forgiven for thinking that the Junta is trying to dismantle the NHS from both ends.

It would be funny, almost, were it not for the fact that Dr Abood is currently sitting at Yarls Wood detention centre while the Home Office tries to stick her on a plane back to face at least persecution, and possibly torture or worse. The Sudanese government has a disgraceful track record of cracking down on any dissent, and then there is also the fact that Dr Abood’s ethnic origin stems from the Berti tribe, a minority which is already discriminated against in Sudan on racial grounds.  As I type these words, I have just discovered that the scheduled deportation flight on which she was due to be expelled tomorrow has been cancelled, but there is no doubt that the Home Office will keep trying, which means that people will need to continue signing the petition for her release. https://www.change.org/p/james-brokenshire-stop-deportation-of-dr-nadar-abood

Anyway, somehow, we seem to have staggered through to Sunday teatime yet again, and yet again I am sitting here with two hot water bottles in the wheelchair behind me, trying to keep warm until I finish this blog. Actually, it was almost spring-like this morning, when I took the rubbish to the bin, first thing, but it’s gone downhill again since then. We’re not out of the proverbial winter woods yet.  Today is (as well as being Burns Night, of course) the feast of St Dwynwen, whose most famous saying is, apparently, “Nothing wins hearts like cheerfulness”, which probably means she was one of those bright, chirpy, jolly-hockey-sticks women who become so annoying over a period of time that they often end up disappearing in mysterious circumstances.

St Dwynwen’s own circumstances are mildly mysterious, given the vast gulf of time which separates the fifth century and today, but we do know that she is the patron saint of lovers in Wales, and also of sick animals (easy on the sheep jokes, please, I’ve already been there.)  She was apparently a member of the family of Brychan of Brecknock, or King Brychan Brycheiniog, for those of you who like your music played on period instruments by the original musicians. The power base was on the island of Anglesey, where her name survives in fragmentary form in place names such as Llanddwyn, and Porthddwyn.

The legend of her life is that she fell in love with a man called Maelon, but somehow she felt she must reject his advances and prevent the relationship from continuing.  Variations of the tale have her either being raped by Maelon and then praying for assistance, or, alternatively, her father forbids the marriage and she prays to forget Maelon. Either way, up pops a friendly angel and hands Dwynwen a potion, which she gives to Maelon. He drinks it, and turns to ice.  Dwynwen then prays for three requests, which are that Maelon is released, that God will look after all true lovers, and that she will remain unmarried.  From then on, she became a hermit on the island of Llanddwyn, off the coast of Anglesey, until her death in about 460AD. In some versions of the story, it is Dwynwen who drinks the potion, although it is still Maelon who turns to ice.

The church on Llanddwyn became an important site for pilgrimages in the Middle Ages, especially at her holy well, where lovers attempted to divine their likely fate by studying the movements of the fish in it. [This has echoes of the beliefs of the Druids, and of course Anglesey was a significant centre for the Druids, prior to the Roam Conquest.]  As with many other medieval shrines, worship there was suppressed after the Reformation, and the site began to be taken over by the relentless march of the sand dunes, falling into disrepair. Two crosses were erected on the site much later, one in 1879 and another in 1903, of a Celtic pattern, and the site is now part of a nature reserve, so at least St Dwynwen is fulfilling some of her duty of patronage towards animals!

St Dwynwen never made it into the official liturgies of the Catholic or the Anglican churches, but during the 1960s, a Bangor student, Vera Williams, began making and selling St Dwynwen’s day cards, along the lines of Valentine’s day, but specifically for Welsh people. The idea caught on, so much so that by 2004, the event had been officially recognised by Gwynedd County Council, no less.

I derive no spiritual knowledge whatsoever from the life of St Dwynwen, but it’s a nice story, an appropriate legend maybe for a time when spring might be just about to be sprung, and both the snowdrops, and Maisie’s indestructible daffodils, are poking blindly through the earth, waiting to burst into flower.  I am told, too, that there are crocuses in West Sussex. It won’t be long now.  And soon it will indeed be St Valentine’s day, when birds do sing, hey ding-a-ding ding, sweet lovers love the spring, and all that jazz.

But, like I said, we’re not out of the woods yet.  And, as it’s Burns night, it is perhaps appropriate to recall the Selkirk Grace:

Some hae meat and cannae eat,
While some can eat, but want it;
But we hae meat, and we can eat,
So let the Lord be thankit.

I won’t be cooking haggis, tatties and neeps tonight, but if Sainsburys deliver the vegan haggises (hagii?) tomorrow, then I might. Either way, I’m lucky to have it, in a world where so many people are struggling and have to go to food banks, so I will be making an attempt to cherish what I have, that being one of my resolutions.

Other than that, a heavy week of work lies ahead.  I must make a point of not getting involved in tedious online debates about “religion” this week, or rather about what other people perceive “religion” to be or to mean, which is very different from my idea anyway.  This comes back yet again to the issue of not holding any one person responsible for the actions of an entire religion or belief system. I’m not responsible for the actions of the Spanish Inquisition (I bet you didn’t expect that) or the Albigensian Crusade. Neither can I claim credit for the mission hospitals and the heroic fight against diseases such as Ebola. My religion is something I have struggled with for many years now, and I still have to keep reminding myself what I believe.

Do I believe that every word in the Bible is true, and is the word of God revealed to man? Probably not. Some parts of the Old Testament are clearly gaga. Do I believe Jesus existed? Yes, probably. Do I believe he was the Son of God, sent to redeem our sins by dying for us? I’d like to think so, but I do have massive problems with the theology of that one, and also Big G’s motives for doing it that way in the first place. Do I believe that the Church (any church) should impose a one-size-fits-all morality on its adherents on pain of judgement and perpetual damnation for disobedience? No, but that doesn’t mean that you should not try and live a good, kind, ethical life. Can I account for the pain, suffering, and evil in the world? No, only by observing that God’s view of these things must be very, very different to our own.

When you set it down like that, it all looks pretty flat and meaningless, but you can’t set out a belief-system like a prospectus or an instruction manual; sometimes, as I said last week, you just know.  Faith flies in the face of reason. Although some of the things we find most perplexing about religion and spiritual matters generally (such as is there a heaven, and if so where is it?) can potentially be explained, or will be, one day, by modern particle physics. Back in October 2014, a team headed up by Professor Howard Wiseman and consisting of people from Griffiths University and the University of California suggested that the “many worlds” theory of parallel universes meant that you could have a situation where nearby “worlds” influence each other in some way.

The Many Worlds theory was proposed by Hugh Everett, who said that the ability of quantum particles to occupy two states simultaneously could be explained by both states co-existing in different universes. This would get around many of the weird events which have been observed in quantum mechanics, which even seem to violate our concepts of cause and effect on occasion. The theory could also go some way, if you applied it to the idea of Big G, towards answering the “why is there suffering and pain in this world” question: it exists here, but is cancelled out in any number of other worlds where the bad thing, whatever it was, didn’t happen.  And likewise, they had the bad version of our good things.  Across an infinite number of universes, all subtly different.

When you start to look at it like that, you are starting to get close to the idea of (in one place) a fallen universe, full of suffering, and in another, different place, an infinite universe of joy and celebration, an idea which not only makes my head hurt, but which sounds spookily like heaven.

So, anyway, we’re not out of the woods yet, but it’s coming, sooner than you think: meanwhile, another long week stretches ahead, at least in this universe, and we have work to do yet, this evening, here. But first, as I usually do when I finish writing this, I’m going to feed the cat, feed the dog, and prepare a meal for us, and give thanks, although I am never quite sure to whom, and/or if anyone’s listening or God is on voicemail, that we have enough of everything. May the Lord be thankit. Enough food, enough milk, tea and coffee, enough coal for the stove, and, indeed, more than enough cat fur.



Sunday 18 January 2015

Epiblog for the Third Sunday of Epiphany



It has been a busy week in the Holme Valley. And a cold one, with winter starting to bite with a vengeance. Gales, rain, hail, and snow have all featured this week, and on a couple of memorable occasions, we had all four together.  The main casualties have been the flag of Free Tibet, which is now dipped permanently at a respectful 45 degree angle, the copper wind-chime mobile thing, which used to hang off one of the trees and which was flung across the garden like a Frisbee by one particularly vicious gust, and the shed door, which, despite all my fears to the contrary, did actually remain attached to the shed, though it went on a sabbatical for a day or two, flapping wildly in the mad wind, but somehow, the buckled hinges held. 

It’s now propped back in place (the catch no longer meets or catches) with two stones from what will, one day (I live in hopes) become my rockery. Everything inside the shed was wet through, of course, and in any case, the roof is losing more strips of timber every time it blows a hooley, so ultimately, it’s looking like one of this year’s garden projects will be to dismantle it and replace it, either with another shed or with something else. I would suggest a water feature, but that would be tempting the weather-gods to give us another dreary, wet summer.

So, another week where we ended up battered and bruised. Poor little Matilda found herself more than once caught in a sudden hail shower, hard and stinging as the arrows of Agincourt, and had to run for it, or rather scuttle for it, ears flat and belly low to the ground, across the decking and in at the conservatory door faster than you could say “Cool for Cats”.

Misty’s walks have, also because of the weather, been more localised than in previous weeks, as Debbie, in a rare display of self-restraint, has seen sense and decided not to go yomping thirteen miles over Black Hill to Crowdon in a blizzard and freezing fog. I was quite surprised by this, because she’s normally a girl who can’t see an envelope without wanting to push it, a mental attitude that will, one day, I am sure, lead to her being given a ride in a big yellow helicopter. But, this week, at least, wiser counsels seem to have prevailed, and Misty has, instead, been playing in the woods, trotting round Blackmoorfoot Reservoir, or swimming in the rather bracing, icy waters of the River Holme down near Armitage Bridge.

The birds and squirrels have also been busy about their business, and we’ve almost gone through a second bag of bird food.  At least their antics provide some entertaining “Cat TV” for Matilda to watch from the interior side of the conservatory door. No more prayer flags have gone missing, and, indeed, somehow, miraculously, the one the squirrels lost half way up John’s tree is still there, caught precariously on a thin branch in such a way that it has nevertheless defied everything the week’s storms could chuck at it. Every morning, when I swing my legs out from under the warm duvet into the chilly atmosphere, I look for it, and give it a sort of mental salute in an “Oh Say Can You See…” sort of way.

What we’re all waiting for – praying for, in my case – is spring. It has to happen, it will happen, eventually. There will come that day when you know you have made it through another winter. At the moment, though, I feel like I am living in a painting by Breughel, trundling over the ice, and picking up fallen twigs and branches with which to light the stove. Plus, it will, apparently, get colder yet, before it finally warms up, so there’s always that to look forward to!

Unfortunately, this week, the outside world has often seemed as bleak and wintry a place as the confines of our own garden. The pre-election fever continues, febrile as ever. Can we really take five more months of this? Am I the only person in the UK who doesn't give a tinsel fairy's fart if there aren't any TV debates before the next election? In fact, I would welcome them having to go back to having to convince people at public meetings, where they could be heckled.  With the possible exception of the Greens, whose heart is in the right place even if they are in La-La land on defence policy, I wouldn't care if someone put all the rest of them in a bag in the river with some rocks. And don't try and tell me there is any correlation between what they might say in such an event and what they would actually do if and when they achieved power because they are all lying conniving self-serving shysters. Nick Clegg, meanwhile, has apparently said that he won't sit in a cabinet with Nigel Farage. Which is a shame, because otherwise we could have locked both the buggers in there, and prevented them from causing any further mischief.

The media frenzy and political fallout over Charlie Hebdo continues, with Benjamin Netanyahu, no less, marching through the streets of Paris to uphold the right of journalists to free speech. I did not see the ghost of Tom Hurndall marching beside him, but I am sure he must have been there, rejoicing over the sinner that repenteth. David Cameron is another who has been busy prattling on about freedom, while at home his Junta is formulating yet more plans to record and keep every email, text message or social media chat, just in case.  Quite how the cause of national security can be served by my text to Debbie of “Don’t forget to pick up a bag of muttnuts on your way back from college!” being stored deep in the vaults of GCHQ escapes me.  The thing is, you see, that in all of the recent outrages, or foiled outrages, the people who perpetrated them were already on the radar. So it’s not a case of needing to access your Facebook chat in order to prevent anything, it’s a case of the security services doing better with what they have already got.

But of course it suits the Blight Brigade to have us all cowed and scared and divided and looking for Islamic extremists under the bed. It’s the politics of the five minute hate, from 1984, and at the risk of invoking Godwin’s law, it’s also the politics of Hermann Goering, although the quotation hasn’t ever been conclusively attributed to him:

Of course the people don't want war. But after all, it's the leaders of the country who determine the policy, and it's always a simple matter to drag the people along whether it's a democracy, a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism, and exposing the country to greater danger.

Whether or not Goering actually ever uttered those words, it’s nevertheless a fairly cogent summing up of what’s being done to us with increased terror threats, surveillance, and juryless trials where the accused isn’t even allowed to know the charge against them. Especially as, statistically, you are probably more likely to die of a surfeit of Lampreys than in a terrorist outrage.

Of course, everyone who is dead is 100% dead, so, for them and their next of kin, percentages become meaningless, and it’s this that the Junta harps on about, because they don’t want to see themselves monstered in The Daily Mail, because governments always have to be seen to be doing something, however stupid and ineffectual. Oh, for a politician with the guts, the balls, to stand up and say “Look, unless and until we disengage with these people, they are going to pop up all over the place in greater numbers, and the only way we can stop them is to sacrifice all of the freedoms we fought for in 1940 and turn the UK into a fascist state with barbed wire and machine-gun posts on every corner. And I am not prepared to do that.”

No politician will ever say that, though, a) because it would mean telling the truth for once and b) because – especially with the current lot, and the even scarier lots queuing up in the (right) wings, it would rather suit them to have Britain turned into a cross between Colditz and Auschwitz.  It would save them having to worry about the time when people start rioting in the streets because of “austerity”.

Perhaps that’s what George Osborne is counting on, since he’s once more attempting to convince people that black is white and red is black and vice versa.  This week, when they could have been discussing something useful like how to get homeless rough sleepers off the streets in this bitterly cold weather, parliament instead was doing its usual punch and judy show over the Office of Budgetary Responsibility’s austerity report. (How much money, I wonder, could be saved by scrapping the Office of Budgetary Responsibility?)

Because Labour have announced plans that could add an extra £170bn to the deficit by the 2020s, George Osborne has been quick to condemn this as some sort of return to profligacy, totally (and deliberately) ignoring that an investment of this magnitude in public works would bring positive benefits to the economy, and a return on investment in the form of a higher tax take.  Ed Balls, to give him credit (and there’s a sentence you won’t see me type very often, so make the most of it) said this in the debate:

Three factors can bring the deficit down: spending cuts, decisions to raise taxes, and what happens to the underlying growth of the economy and the tax revenues which flow from that. Ultimately, the only way of reversing the problem is yes, to cut spending, and yes, to raise taxes… but also to get the economy growing in a stronger way which will bring in tax revenues.

George Osborne has been rather coy about that aspect of things, because while the economy is (technically) growing, the jobs that have been created are in low-paid, often insecure work – to the extent that many people, although in work, are still on benefits, an added drag on growth - and there is lower productivity. As a result, income tax receipts are a cumulative £68 billion lower than Osborne’s 2010 forecast, and national insurance contributions are a cumulative £27 billion lower than he planned.  And this was the man who was going to have eliminated the deficit by now.  As Mike Sivier has pointed out:

Osborne’s own plans would cut government spending – mostly on the kind of wealth redistribution that allows the poorest and the working-class to enjoy a reasonable standard of living – by around 26 per cent, totalling a massive 41 per cent since 2010, if a Conservative government is returned in May. In addition, he is relying on a £360 billion borrowing spree by UK citizens, according to the Office for Budget Responsibility – which will leave households with an amount of debt 180 per cent larger than their income (see the image at the top of this article).  Just think about that. Back in 2010, he was comparing the national debt to households having ‘maxed out’ all their credit cards. That was when the debt totalled 78.4 per cent of GDP (the amount of income the nation generates every year). Why is he now saying that households should take on a burden that is proportionally more than twice as large?

It’s all very dreary. Dreary and weary as a wet weekend in January. The more so, because Labour seem incapable of landing this on Osborne’s jaw and making it stick. What will it take for people to see through this sneering, capering pantaloon? Oh, I forgot, it will take them not to be distracted by government inspired media scare stories over terrorists and immigrants, who are, to many of the hard-of-thinking, one and the same.  Not forgetting the scare stories about how various lumps are falling off the NHS as it buckles under the strain of trying to cope with a typical English winter, dealing with meaningless targets that ignore clinical priorities and create forests of paperwork, and being dismantled and sold off by a Junta that assured us at the last election that it was safe. It’s easy to tell when a politician is lying: his lips are moving.

So, after a long and trying week that plodded by on leaden feet (and I haven’t even bothered damning Ageas insurance, Santander PLC, and EE, surely the most misleadingly-named internet provider in the word, since their provision is most frequently nothing, and nowhere: suffice it to say that the barge-pole long enough to touch these sets of clowns has not yet been invented) we come to the third Sunday of Epiphany.  After discovering (more or less by accident) that it was Year C this year, and that January 6th didn’t fall on a Sunday, I identified and read today’s texts, according to The Book of Common Prayer.  The one which spoke most to me was 1 Corinthians: 12-31, and here is part of it, in the full-fat, high-tar King James version:

 For as the body is one, and hath many members, and all the members of that one body, being many, are one body: so also is Christ.  For by one Spirit are we all baptized into one body, whether we be Jews or Gentiles, whether we be bond or free; and have been all made to drink into one Spirit.  For the body is not one member, but many. If the foot shall say, Because I am not the hand, I am not of the body; is it therefore not of the body?  And if the ear shall say, Because I am not the eye, I am not of the body; is it therefore not of the body?  If the whole body were an eye, where were the hearing? If the whole were hearing, where were the smelling?  But now hath God set the members every one of them in the body, as it hath pleased him.  And if they were all one member, where were the body? But now are they many members, yet but one body.  And the eye cannot say unto the hand, I have no need of thee: nor again the head to the feet, I have no need of you.  Nay, much more those members of the body, which seem to be more feeble, are necessary: and those members of the body, which we think to be less honourable, upon these we bestow more abundant honour; and our uncomely parts have more abundant comeliness. For our comely parts have no need: but God hath tempered the body together, having given more abundant honour to that part which lacked:  that there should be no schism in the body; but that the members should have the same care one for another. And whether one member suffer, all the members suffer with it; or one member be honoured, all the members rejoice with it.

A Church, a religion, if you like, is made up of many people, all pursuing different roles and purposes.  This is one reason why it’s as futile to accuse all Muslims of being terrorists as it is to accuse all Roman Catholics of child abuse. Or all Anglican vicars of being shy, stamp-collecting ecclesiologists.  You might as well blame your arm for your foot treading in dog poo. The leaves are many, though the root may be one, and as for religion, so for society – it contains rich leaves and poor leaves, healthy leaves and sick leaves, young productive leaves and old withered leaves, and each one not only has a place, but is necessary, to show us both that there is such a thing as society in the first place, and to remind us that our own status on the tree of life is by no means fixed, and the branch you are sitting on may, one day, be sawn away from under you. Take a tip from one who knows.

Every man’s death diminishes me, for I am involved in mankind: No man is an island, entire of itself, every man is a piece of the continent, A part of the main. If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friends or of thine own were: therefore seek not to send for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for thee.

People who attack “religion” are frequently attacking not the basic concept of spiritual belief, but the misguided actions of those who consider themselves religious, and who are often nothing of the sort.  And yes, there are those in the church, any church, who do literally believe that the Bible is the word of God revealed, and there are those who have looked at it, and read it, and said, hang on, half of this is simply a desert bushcraft survival manual for The Children of Israel.

It is all too easy to dismiss the spiritual life as being the blind leading the blindly obedient, indoctrinated from birth, and taking all their experience of Big G from a book.  But this takes no account of the moments – what TS Eliot called “the moment in the draughty church at smokefall”, when you just know. You just know, in a way that goes deeper than words. In the same way as you just know you love someone, but describing how or why it's like that always seems to lessen the experience.

The moment, sitting on the roof of my Granny’s air raid shelter, aged eight or nine, when I looked at the trees on the horizon and was suddenly struck by their beauty. The moment when I sat on the end of the slipway at Brough Haven and watched the dancing light on the waters. The moment when I walked under the great Cedars of Lebanon in the college gardens and saw the sunbeams.  The moment when I looked out of the window of a room at Loughborough University in 1986, and saw the same sunlight dancing on a pool of rainwater on the flat roof of the building opposite, and knew, just knew somehow, that my dead mother was still OK, somewhere, and was happy.  The moment in Chartres cathedral when I saw the pattern of the stained glass reflected on the marble floor. The moment when I stood in front of the relic of the true cross in Holy Cross Abbey in Ireland, and felt and smelt the heat and spice of the streets of Jerusalem, these and many others have been my epiphanies, and they have nothing to do with reading about God in books.

As W B Yeats put it:

My fiftieth year had come and gone,
I sat, a solitary man,
In a crowded London shop,
An open book and empty cup
On the marble table-top.
While on the shop and street I gazed
My body of a sudden blazed;
And twenty minutes more or less
It seemed, so great my happiness,
That I was blessed and could bless.

I do occasionally get feedback, beyond the normal comments on Facebook and on the actual blog itself, from people who actually take the trouble to email me. Usually, these are Nigerian gentlemen seeking my assistance in importing a cabin trunk stuffed with $50M in US dollars into the UK, or earnest Americans, intent on ordaining me as a deacon in my very own church, if I will only send them £250 for a certificate.  But occasionally, as I said, real people write. I was asked this week, for instance, whether I “write all this stuff” myself. I was tempted to reply that I give Matilda cat treats and in return, she points at the keyboard and tells me what keys to press, but no, it is all written by me, myself, personally. Well, with the help of my evil twin who we keep in the attic, but we don't talk about him. 

Another correspondent commented “I wonder that you can be bothered”, as if being bothered was something that took effort on my part. I suppose she meant “be bothered to write it” but if I’m not bothered one day by the mess our once great country is in, if I’m not bothered by cruelty and injustice, to humans and animals alike, if I’m not bothered enough to want to do something about it, and strive for a better world in which we, in the words of Abdu’l Baha (1844-1921) one of the stalwarts of the Bahai faith, “Tend the sick, raise the fallen, care for the poor and needy, give shelter to the destitute, comfort the sorrowful and love the world of humanity with all your hearts” then that’s the day to hack out to Interflora, because that’s the day I’ll be dead.  Actually, put a hold on the flowers: when Arthur Mee died, in 1943, it emerged that people sent small donations to children’s charities, marked “For Arthur Mee”. I’d be more than happy if people sent a widow’s mite to the local animal shelter “For Steve Rudd”.

Anyway, we seem to have got onto rather a morbid tack, somehow, although it’s hardly surprising on the eve of a week which contains Blue Monday, famously the most miserable day of the year. But we’ll get through it somewhere, somehow.  We muddle through.  There’s no point asking God about Blue Monday, because the only answer you’ll get is “this is the day the Lord hath made”. Religion doesn’t (at least it doesn’t for me, I only wish it did) give me any answers into why there is pain, death and suffering in the world, or why it has to be that way. The nearest I have ever been able to get, and the nearest I suspect I ever will get, in this plane of existence, is that Big G’s ideas of justice and suffering must be very different to our own limited human concepts of these things, but then you might expect that from something which underpins all reality, is outside of time, knows everything that has been, is, or shall be, world without end, and takes upon itself the sins of the world.  That’s gonna hurt in the morning, as they say. Beyond that it is down to faith, and listening, and sticking out dark nights alone, and keeping your lamp trimmed.

So, for my part, next week, I’ll just keep on Breugheling: gathering my sticks, illuminating my manuscripts, scribing my texts, feeding Matilda, my own version of Pangur Ban, and Misty, the bratchet, as fine as any to be found in a medieval bestiary; lighting candles and incense, cooking (vegan) stew and dumplings, and waiting for the ice to thaw, and the annual miracle of redemption and renewal to start. They also serve who only stand and wait, and that "serving" also includes serving stew and dumplings, so please allow me to take my leave of you for a while: I have an appointment with some carrots.





Sunday 11 January 2015

Epiblog for the Second Sunday of Epiphany



It has been a busy week in the Holme Valley. In the words of the late, great, Lowell George, I’ve been warped by the sun, driven by the snow, I’m drunk and dirty, but don’t you know, I’m still willing.  Well, not quite – there’s been hardly any sun – but it’s still been a wild and woolly week, weather-wise. Not quite as bad as some of my friends in the Outer Hebrides, where you could divert yourself by watching the garden sheds of your neighbours fly past the window like a flock of particularly unaerodynamic geese, and you had to choose between boiling a kettle or having the light on. We’ve got off lightly by comparison, but even so, the wind was bad enough to wake me at 5AM on Friday, and if it wasn’t flinging hailstones at my window, then there was definitely somebody in the garden urgently trying to attract my attention. Either way, I pulled the duvet up around my ears and burrowed deeper.

The squirrels have been back and nicked the rest of the prayer flags – there are now only four left, bedraggled and forlorn, but – bizarrely – the wind somehow managed, in its howling vortex, to wrap them back round the decking rail, so it looks as though they are re-attached. At least until the wind shifts to a different point of the compass, at any rate. The flag of Free Tibet, which Debbie prevented the squirrel from carrying off by yelling “Oi!” has survived the storms, but the force of the wind has snapped the dyneema that was tying the pole to one of the decking rail’s uprights, so it is now leaning at a drunken angle, semi-dipped like the British Legion do with their Union Jacks on Remembrance Day.

Considering that’s all the obvious damage, to date anyway, touch wood, we have got off incredibly lightly. I was waiting, on Friday morning, for the sound of the slates on Colin’s roof going “plink, plink, plink,” one after the other into the garden, but – thank God – it didn’t happen.

The animals (domestic, non-squirrel) have also been rather unimpressed by the weather this week. I doubt that Matilda has been in the garden for more than an hour a day, and at the moment she spends most of her time curled up on the settee under Colin’s front window, in a tight little ball with her tail over her nose and face. If it didn’t involve potential major trauma and blood loss, she looks like you could just pick her up and pop her on your head like a fur hat.  I wouldn’t recommend trying, though, especially with the current waiting times at A & E.

Even Misty, who normally just lets weather of any kind bounce off her, has taken to scuttling down the steps into the garden to do her necessaries as quickly as possible, then it’s back up to the door and in faster than you can say “fit as a butcher’s dog!” Ellie and Zak have also been staying with us on and off this week, and they are of a similar frame of mind. Zak curls in the armchair and goes to sleep, and Ellie, when she’s not curled up next to the fire, prefers the vantage point also employed by Matilda, though not at the same time, of sitting just inside the conservatory door with her nose pressed against the glass.

It was while she was engaged in this process last week that she saw what may have been her first squirrel, or at least her first one in our garden, as it pranced along the decking rail in search of more flags to steal.  I had previously tried to console Debbie over the theft of the flags by saying that in Tibet, prayer flags were regarded as expendable anyway, and renewed each New Year, and that we could get some more when we next went to Arran. She replied that next time, it would be a lot easier just to put £6.99 out on the decking for the squirrels, then they could buy their own.

Anyway, there was Ellie, and there was the squirrel. I braced myself for the inevitable. With Freddie, he could be hard, fast asleep on the settee, and you only had to murmur the word “squirrel” for him to hurl himself against the glass of the conservatory door, in a paroxysm of fury that invariably lasted at least fifteen minutes, whether there actually was a real squirrel there or not. It is safe to say, the squirrels wouldn’t have stolen the prayer flags on Freddie’s watch. Ellie, however, was made of different stuff, and started gently whimpering and whining at the squirrel – either she was frightened of it, or she wanted to be allowed out there to join in the fun and play with it, who knows? The question remained unresolved, because the squirrel took one look at her and legged it, but it was another illustration of the fact that, although two dogs may look physically similar, their personalities and temperaments can be worlds apart – another nail in the coffin, if one were needed, for the idea of breed-specific legislation. The owners are what’s dangerous, not the dogs.

Debbie’s first week back at the chalk-face passed largely without incident. Except for Thursday morning when she did an outreach class at one of the far-flung community centres they send her to from time to time, in the lee of the M62. They were doing vowels. Debbie wrote C - T on the whiteboard and asked them to complete the word, using a vowel, expecting either cat, cot, or cut. Guess what word the entire class chorused as one?  As I said to her, well, at least you know there's one word they can spell.

Apart from the weather, it was shaping up to be another dreary week in the outside world. A Scotsman had been arrested by police for bouncing along a dual carriageway in Dundee on a spacehopper. I didn’t chase up the full story, though I suspect “drink had been taken”, but it is the sort of story that makes me inordinately, disproportionately, proud of the few cc of Scottish blood that course somewhere through my veins.  I was greatly amused by it, and I was greatly vexed, to a similar extent, by a programme on Channel 5 entitled Benefits: Too Fat To Work.

This was the latest effort from a bloke called Guy Davies, who is some sort of Commissioning Editor at ITN, who make the documentaries for Channel 5. This time he was working with a producer called Ian Rumsey, of whom I have never heard, although I doubt he’s heard of me, either.  Mr Davies’s previous efforts involve an “instant” documentary on the Philpott case, and other programmes intended mainly to bash people on benefits.  What they do is they find a couple of really extreme examples (the couple in this one were obese to the extent that really, some sort of medical intervention seemed to be in order) and then produce a piece of highly edited, highly exploitative “reality” television that does a hatchet job on them and also suggests that everyone else in the same position behaves likewise – the premise of the latest offering being that everyone on benefits is morbidly obese and swinging the lead.  It’s freak show television, car crash television, made by cynical manipulators to reinforce the misapprehensions of morons who can’t see past the next Daily Mail headline.

Where’s the Channel 5 programme about David Clapson, who starved to death with just £3.44 in his bank account after his benefits were sanctioned? Where’s the Channel 5 programme about Mark Wood, a vulnerable man with mental health issues who also starved to death when his benefits were cut? Or Mark and Helen Mullins, who decided to give up the struggle against poverty and hunger in a mutual suicide pact?  There isn’t one, and there won’t be one, because Channel 5 has decided to turn itself into the Iain Duncan Smith propaganda company for some reason. I don’t know what the link is between Guy Davies and the DWP, but I am certainly suspicious that one exists.  Otherwise how can we explain the uncritical, laudatory, re-cycling of DWP lies in the name of entertainment?

A more critical view of the Junta’s achievements was given this week by Paul Krugman, the Nobel-Prize-winning economist, writing about the UK in passing, in an article which was actually about Obama’s recovery.  Krugman’s assessment of what George Osborne has achieved (and which created the climate in which these people died in hunger, desperation and poverty) is fairly terse, but no less devastating for its brevity:

Let’s start with a tale from overseas: austerity policy in Britain. As you may know, back in 2010 Britain’s newly installed Conservative government declared that a sharp reduction in budget deficits was needed to keep Britain from turning into Greece. Over the next two years growth in the British economy, which had been recovering fairly well from the financial crisis, more or less stalled. In 2013, however, growth picked up again — and the British government claimed vindication for its policies. Was this claim justified?

No, not at all. What actually happened was that the Tories stopped tightening the screws — they didn’t reverse the austerity that had already occurred, but they effectively put a hold on further cuts. So they stopped hitting Britain in the head with that baseball bat. And sure enough, the nation started feeling better.

To claim that this bounceback vindicated austerity is silly. As Simon Wren-Lewis of Oxford University likes to point out, if rapid growth after a gratuitous slump counts as success, the government should just close down half the economy for a year; the next year’s growth would be fantastic. Or as I’d put it, you shouldn’t conclude that hitting yourself in the head is smart because it feels so good when you stop. Unfortunately, the silliness of the claim hasn’t prevented its widespread acceptance by what Mr. Wren-Lewis calls “mediamacro.”

If the Labour Party had any sense, they would quote that back at Osborne every time he starts braying about having “fixed” the economy.  But, of course, they don’t, so they won’t.  And, very sadly indeed, Krugman’s torpedo in the engine-room of “austerity” went completely un-noticed because after Wednesday, the entire world was swamped by the Tsunami of media reporting on the Charlie Hebdo massacre.

My own first thoughts, on hearing that several cartoonists and other staff members had been gunned down in cold blood in their offices, were, strangely enough, of horror and astonishment that this had happened at all, but also that it had happened in Paris.  Paris is a place I always think of with fond memories, and inevitably at some point, I will start singing Nana’s Song by Ralph McTell to myself:

If I take you dancing down the street to watch you laughing
And stop still in the spring night air, just to watch you smile again
Understand I’ll hold your hand a little tight, as if by this
To try and stop this night, from slipping into morning light too soon
Ice-cream and candy bars, a Paris moon and Paris stars, can you count the times,
That we heard the chimes of Notre Dame, across the Seine…

Yes, like Joni Mitchell before me, I was a free man in Paris, I felt unfettered and alive, walking from café to cabaret, and all that. Paris is made for sharing Iles Flottantes in late night bistros, discussing existentialism over strong coffee, nipping out for a baguette and leaving your rag-top Citroen Dyane double-parked outside the boulangerie, then spending long afternoons wandering round the art galleries.  How can those bastards have done such a thing in Paris, in my Paris. Et in arcadia ego.

I also have to confess that, up to that point, I’d never heard of Charlie Hebdo. In that respect, the murderers have done them an enormous commercial favour, although I am sure to those who lost loved ones on Wednesday, they’d willingly trade a million-issue print run in return for their murdered colleagues back and a return to relative obscurity. I also had no idea what the cartoons for which the artists had been murdered in a gruesome revenge attack looked like, although that was easily rectified: again, the idiots with the guns have scored a massive own-goal there, because now millions of people, including me, have seen them on the internet, who would not otherwise have done so.

On seeing them, I have to say, as well, that I was reminded of that Peter Cook and Dudley Moore sketch where he says that he has been to see the Leonardo cartoons at the National Gallery and he “couldn’t see the bloody joke, actually”. They were vicious and satirical.  Their saving grace seemed to have been that they were like that to everyone, politicians and religious leaders alike. There were those who said, though, that in a country with as much Islamophobia as France, and therefore a ready supply of people who were happy to miss the point and assume that the cartoons were simply denigrating all Muslims, that it was unwise for the staff of Charlie Hebdo to have taken such an uncompromising stance.

So, did the cartoonists of Charlie Hebdo bring it upon themselves? Various right-wing commentators have suggested that they went in for “Muslim baiting” and this meant it was only a matter of time before something like this happened.  What this ignores, though, is three things – firstly, that Charlie Hebdo attacked not only Muslims but a wide variety of quasi-religious bigots and hypocrites, some of whom are now getting their revenge in last, crowing in triumph over the corpses of the shot cartoonists; secondly, that the “Muslims” attacked by Charlie Hebdo had about as much to do with Islam as I have to do with crewel embroidery or Pilates, and thirdly, that whatever Charlie Hebdo published, it was by definition within the law of their country, and therefore they were, just, on the legal side of the line between freedom of speech and hate crime.

It’s worth unpicking that last point a bit further, I think. We should bear in mind that we don’t have an ultimate right to freedom of speech, freedom of expression, that trumps all other rights. This is why civilized countries have laws – democratically decided, as much of any of our laws ever are – about incitement to hatred, libel, and, indeed, in some cases, blasphemy.  In my opinion, your right to free expression ends if and when you overstep the boundary of a law.

If I do a cartoon (taking it out of the context of Muslims, for a moment) which portrays all Jews as evil, hook-nosed child murderers, and couple that with a call for them to be exterminated from our society, clearly that would be a hate crime, for which I would rightly expect to be prosecuted. If I do a cartoon of an Orthodox Jew trying to read his electricity bill by candlelight on the Sabbath because he refuses to turn the light on, to me that has a different intention – to question whether this belief in not using electric light one day a week is still relevant in the 21st century.

In the case of the second cartoon (the Jew sitting in the darkness) it is open to people to come back and rebut me on the point I am questioning. Of course, given the broad spectrum of human response, there will be people who will still be offended, even by the second cartoon – but if it’s legal, it’s fair comment, and they have to deal with it, and move on. Or take me to court and let he law decide.

The problem that has arisen with cartoons criticising Islam is twofold – one, that it is actually insulting to any Muslim to have their prophet depicted in any way, and two, that since 2001, we have busied ourselves in the West with creating a whole army of intolerant, medieval-minded bigots who will not brook any criticism of “Islam” as they interpret it, however mild or well-intentioned. They have blasphemy intolerance levels equivalent to, or worse than, those of the late Mary Whitehouse, and, unlike her, they have access to semi-automatic weapons. They are like a cross between the Spanish Inquisition and the people who organised the Salem witch trials, without the redeeming features of either.

We can go back through the last 14 years and plot he development and growth of these “radicals” in response to our own misguided foreign policy in the wake of 9/11, and we can deride the stupidity of their beliefs and the barbarity of their lives and their stone age attitude to women, but nevertheless we can’t escape the fact that they believe, however gaga we might think it is, that an attack on one Muslim is an attack on all Muslims, that their self-appointed duty is to unite all Muslims in one overarching caliphate (whether they want to or not!) and that Allah has told them to avenge any insults to him or his prophet because, despite being an all-powerful supernatural deity, he does get rather miffed and put out by certain examples of line drawings in newspapers, apparently.

Normally, when confronted with such behaviour,  of people getting offended on behalf of supernatural entities to the point where they commit murder, the natural reaction would be to go to the cupboard and take out a strait-jacket, while looking up the trains to Colney Hatch, but the fact is there are thousands of these buggers, and they are armed, and undoubtedly dangerous.

The only saving grace is that there are still millions, not thousands, of Muslims who don’t think like this, despite what Nigel Farage with his talk of “Fifth Columns” would have you believe. It is, however, all too easy to fall into the trap of indulging in tit-for-tattery, or whataboutery, when something like this happens. I almost fell for it myself. In my visceral anger at the murders in Paris, I started drawing a cartoon.  Two Jihadis, in black, with Kalashnikovs slung over their shoulders, in the desert, each having sex with a pig. On the ground all around them, a welter of blood, guts, bones, severed heads. The caption was “Freedom of Speech is now what we say it is”.  I tore it up in the end. It wasn’t much good – things drawn in anger never are – but the main reason I tore it up was that I could see some people looking at it and chortling and saying “Ho ho, yes that’s exactly what all them Muslims are like…” and the thought of it being used to taint all Muslims, or even worse, of some meathead sharing it on one of those Proto-Fascist Muslim bashing sites like Britain First, run by people who have sex with their sister to keep the gene pool small and white, was mortifying.

What is needed, instead, is a cartoon showing somehow people coming together in peace, and a positive outcome springing from the sorrow of murder, in a way which makes these black-clad wingnuts with their death cults and their RPG launchers irrelevant, but that’s not going to happen any time soon. We’ve been in a hole now for 14 years and there is no sign of the idiot politicians stopping digging. One of the definitions of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting a different outcome, and given Afghanistan, Iraq, Libya and now Syria, maybe we should be actually be re-evaluating who it is who gets the one-way day trip to London Colney in a waistcoat with no arms.

So, coming back to my original point: do I think the cartoonists of Charlie Hebdo deserved to die for their art? Assuredly not. What do I think should have happened to the perpetrators? When I first heard of this outrage, my initial reaction was that I hoped the French police would catch them, string them up somewhere by their goolies, and use them for target practice, which is, in the end, pretty much what happened. But once  I had the chance to think more coolly about it,  I thought the only sane response by the French authorities would be to put them on trial, and, if found guilty, sentence them to he maximum penalty for multiple murder which exists under French law. (Do the French still own Devil’s Island?) Anything less, any backlash, any retribution, any firebombing of Mosques, will only play into their hands, create yet more “Jihadis”, and will also stoke the fires of Islamophobia which are already burning strongly under the surface of French society.  What France needs, more than ever, in the wake of this tragedy, is the equivalent of the hashtag which was trending in the aftermath of the Sydney café siege, #illridewithyou. Possibly #jevaisvoyageravecvous.

In the end, of course, they decided themselves to go out in a hail of bullets, like Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, thus taking matters into their own hands. But then they were never likely to get off with a fine and community service.  What was heartening was the way in which humanity pulled together in the aftermath, with the Je Suis Charlie hashtag trending world wide. I took a picture of my hand holding up my pen, since I couldn’t go to Paris and hold it up in person – it’s at the top of this blog.

Neither should we forget that one of the police assigned to protect the offices of Charlie Hebdo, killed by a burst of automatic fire as he lay on the ground already wounded, was himself a Muslim.  People were quick to say, in the hours after the shootings, that “ordinary” Muslims must speak out and condemn them.  And ordinary Muslims did:  Mohammed Samaana said:

As a Muslim, I strongly condemn the attack on Charlie Hebdo and those behind it. These terrorists do not represent me nor do they represent Islam. Their wicked ideology is an existential threat to Islam itself. Part of the problem is that these extremists and Islamophobes – responsible for burning mosques and attacking women wearing hijab – need each other in order to exist. We, the majority of ordinary people of every faith, race and colour, should stand together to these extremists and say enough is enough.

The problem here is not the lack of condemnation from ordinary Muslims, it  is that the media, instead, when something like this happens, automatically seeks out people like Anjem Choudary, who actually speaks for about a dozen followers, for comments on these issues, because they know that what they have to say will be offensive, inflammatory and make a good story, reinforcing the prejudices of their readers.  So as well as Je Suis Charlie, we also need Je Suis Ahmed, and – because it is necessary sometimes to remind ourselves where all this comes from, Je Suis Une Victime Innocente d’un Drone Strike.

Somehow, we have staggered to Sunday, then. The second Sunday of Epiphany. It was only a couple of weeks ago, writing about Thomas a Becket, that I said then that you never know when the four armed knights are going to turn up at the doorway. Becket pushed his luck with an irrational and powerful opponent and, some 700-odd years later, so did Charlie Hebdo. For broadswords, read Kalashnikovs.  You never know the minute or the hour.  

There seems to be some disparity, as usual, over what the actual Bible readings are for today. The first source I consulted seems to suggest that the Gospel for today is the story of Jesus turning the water into wine, at the wedding at Cana, one of my favourite Jesus miracles, if one can be said to have favourite Jesus miracles. It’s in St John 2, verses 1-11 if you want to look it up.  This must mean it’s year C, according to the Anglican Lectionary, and so this is used for the second Sunday unless 6th January itself falls on a Sunday, in which case these readings are used on the third Sunday. All got that? Good.

If that is the case, then another of today’s readings is 1 Corinthians 12, 1-11, which contains, inter alia:

Now there are diversities of gifts, but the same Spirit.  And there are differences of administrations, but the same Lord.  And there are diversities of operations, but it is the same God which worketh all in all. But the manifestation of the Spirit is given to every man to profit withal.  For to one is given by the Spirit the word of wisdom; to another the word of knowledge by the same Spirit;  To another faith by the same Spirit; to another the gifts of healing by the same Spirit; To another the working of miracles; to another prophecy; to another discerning of spirits; to another divers kinds of tongues; to another the interpretation of tongues:  But all these worketh that one and the selfsame Spirit, dividing to every man severally as he will.

Which seems to be strangely apposite to a week where people have been killed for what they believe/don’t believe. It would be a dull world if we all had the same talents, and it would be a poor football team that had 11 goalkeepers (although Hull City should maybe give it a try, especially this season). Or, as W. B. Yeats wrote – the leaves are many, yet the root is one. It seems to me that it’s worth keeping this in mind, every time the urge takes us to be suspicious or scared of others. That is the only way we will come out of this with the minimum of further bloodshed, the only way to negate the UKIPS of the world, and to keep those leaves which are withered and cankered and deformed to a minimum.

I suppose I like the idea of a non-judgemental spirit infusing all creation because it seems to me to embody a much more realistic idea of Big G than an old man with a beard, sitting on a throne, pausing occasionally to hurl a thunderbolt.  I could see myself communicating much more easily with a God who suffuses all creation with the healing sap of spring, and maybe I have been looking in the wrong place in my bid to mend my relations with the Almighty.  But, I hear you cry, doesn’t that deprive morality of any religious authority, leading ultimately to a state where Aleister Crowley’s dictum of “Do What Thou Wilt Shall Be The Whole of the Law” rules instead?

Not necessarily. Mankind can, and does make laws, and in fact, some of these are founded, ethically, on principles which go back to Biblical times and/or are common in the teachings of the leaders of the world’s greatest religions. What we might lose is the blind adherence to some outdated shibboleths that are no longer relevant, and we might lose the “my God is bigger/better than your God and is coming round to duff him up” mentality, and best of all, we might lose the pernicious practice of people getting offended on behalf of other people who probably don’t give a stuff. Especially when the person who might be offended is well capable of fighting his own battles with the odd thunderbolt.

Anyway, it’s going to be another grim old week next week, by the looks. The media brouhaha over Charlie Hebdo will keep going until at least after the funerals. In my own life, I need to step things up a gear or two and get on top of some of the tasks that are currently getting on top of me. I’ve already had 11 days of 2015 and I have achieved absolutely nothing. Oh, I tell a lie, I have done my tax return. I had a strange and unsettling dream the other night where I had lost two of my sheep  (I don’t actually have any sheep, in real life) and couldn’t find them.  The weirdest bit about it was that Bert Fry was helping me look for them, which reminds me, I must post this blog before The Archers comes on the radio. And I still have to feed my cat, my dog, and my wife.

Let’s hope for a quiet week next week, without man, proud man, dressed in a little brief authority, playing such fantastic tricks before high heaven, as makes the angels weep. I’m not holding my breath, though.




Sunday 4 January 2015

Epiblog for the Feast of the Epiphany



It has been a busy week in the Holme Valley.  Continuing cold, with the Boxing Day snow turning to nasty, hard-packed ice, and only being dispersed, in the end, by the rain and gales around New Year.  My spirits have taken a plunge, a bit, along with the temperature.  Before Christmas, I was looking forward to doing a lot of things which need sorting out, but which can’t be done in “ordinary time”, when the phone is ringing and there’s post to answer and invoices to raise and work to do. Sadly, this week, which would have been a prime opportunity to get these tasks done, confined to the house by the weather, instead I have mooned around and felt like hibernating, mostly, so the opportunity has been squandered.

Partly it’s been the cold. It’s difficult to accomplish great things when you are muffled up to the ears and you look like Nanook of the North. Also, in perishing weather, so much time is taken up boiling kettles for hot water bottles and fetching in coal, that it tends to eat into what used to be described as my free time. I’ve not been feeling too well, either. But there’s no excuse, really, it comes down to plain old lack of self-motivation.  A golden chance missed. Even answering emails has seemed a step too far, some days.

Matilda has also been giving in to the temptation to hibernate, spending much more time than usual on the settee in Colin’s front room, curled up tight, with her nose in her tail, trying her best, like the rest of us, to keep warm.  She was distinctly unimpressed both by the lingering ice and by the stinging cold rain that eventually banished it, so maybe she’s not such an all-weather cat after all.  This morning saw bright sunshine, and a hard frost, and she did finally venture over the decking, skipping gingerly, and rather comically, given her size, over the frosty ground, to minimise the contact between her toes and the cold earth.

Misty has also had a quiet week, at least in terms of not going missing or trying to throw herself under a car or anything. Other than that, she’s done quite a few miles over the frozen moors in the company of Debbie, Zak and – on one memorable occasion - Ellie.  It was only one memorable occasion, because after doing 10.7 miles over Blackhill and Crowdon, the next day she refused to go, and spent the afternoon curled up on the settee next to the stove, instead. Sort of not voting with her feet, if you see what I mean. I’m not surprised; she’s only got little legs, and the previous day, it had got to the stage where Debbie thought she would have to carry her.  Poor little dog. Still, at least, she’s got some training in for doing Goatfell in the summer.

Other than that, the next most active inhabitants of the neighbourhood have been the birds and the squirrels. I found an old, neglected bag of bird food from last year and made the mistake of broadcasting some onto the ice. Before long, every bird in West Yorkshire descended in a huge, seething feathery mass, only dispersing when the last grain had been gleaned.  The squirrels, too, have been active, looking not only for food, but for stuff to keep them warm during their hibernation. The string of Tibetan prayer flags which we brought back from Arran in the summer has now more or less disintegrated.  I thought this was because of the wind and rain, but, on Saturday morning, Debbie looked out of the conservatory door to see a lone grey squirrel perching on the railing of the decking, with one corner of the Free Tibet flag in its mouth, tugging at it for all it was worth. She shouted “Oi!” at it, coupled with a fairly Biblical instruction to go forth and multiply, and it let go and scampered off, but since then, I have revised my opinion of what happened to the missing prayer flags. I no longer think they were blown away, I think that somewhere high up in the woods, there is a cosy dray, lined with twigs, moss, and Tibetan prayer flags.

One place where they won’t be keeping warm and dry is inside the shed, since some more bits of the roof departed this world during the howling wind overnight at New Year.  New Year’s Eve itself, always the most loathsome time of the year, with its forced bonhomie and Jools bloody Holland on the television, passed quietly and uneventfully. We were both too tired for any social gatherings or anything like that,  so we just saw in the new year quietly, at home.  I did the traditional Granny Fenwick thing of opening up the outside door and sweeping out the old year with a yard-brush, and then welcoming in 2015 before I locked up again, coming back in with a piece of coal.  There were the usual fireworks going off, but nobody was around outside, so my shout of “Happy New Year” was wasted, and died on the cold frosty air.

Because of my rather curtailed days and activities this week, I haven’t been keeping abreast of developments in the wider world. I strongly suspect, at any rate, that al the news at his time of year is made up by a skeleton team in the news room and intercut with archive footage of the Pope and/or the Archbishop of Canterbury on a balcony somewhere.  As far as I am aware, UKIP haven’t made fools of themselves in the last seven days, though I am happy to be corrected if anyone knows different.  This week’s gooneybird award goes to the “Islamic” extremists who hacked the Travelwest web site, replacing it with slogans in favour of Jihad, ISIS, and the usual crap these people come out with. Apparently they were labouring under the misapprehension that Travelwest was some sort of major travel resource for the western world as a whole, when it is, in fact, the site you log onto for bus timetables in Bristol.  Apart from inconveniencing a few Bristolians for an hour or two until the original site was restored, no harm was done, unless you count to the reputation of the dingbats responsible, and who cares about them?

Katie Hopkins is obviously still desperate for attention, and in her situation, I’m not surprised. Non-existent business, fading career, not hat it was ever much to write home about. Soon there will come a day when her phone stops ringing. So she’s trying ever-more outrageous statements on Twitter, which she seems to continually confuse with real life, in an effort to stave off oblivion for a few more months. This week she was jeering at Scotland because the courageous Scottish health worker who has been diagnosed with Ebola had been shipped south to a specialist London facility to be treated. “Not so independent now, Jockland”, or something equally crass, was her comment.  In itself it was no worse than some of the casual racism on both sides that characterised the worst of the online “debate” about Scottish “independence”, but in the context, a particularly cheap gibe, given that anyone with the brain power of an amoeba would realise that the major hospitals for everything are all in London. Obviously that is too high an intellectual bar for Katie Hopkins to conquer. I’m rapidly coming to the conclusion that the thing that would drive her really mad would be if everyone just ignored her, like the brat at a party, until she eventually tries to put her knickers on her head, goes red in the face, and screams until she is sick.

The only other major piece of attention-seeking which I noted this week was on the part of David Cameron, who launched the Junta’s election poster, a picture of a long, straight, empty country road, with a fatuous slogan about staying on the road to economic recovery. Once again he parroted the erroneous shibboleth about having “halved” the deficit. Never mind that this is the very same deficit that he said his party would have abolished by now, back in 2010, even the claim of having halved it is incorrect. It’s only correct if you take the deficit as a proportion of gross national product, and even by that rather arcane measure, it’s only happened because Osborne, the clown, finally abandoned his headlong gallop into the valley of death that is “austerity” and indulged in some Keynesian stimulation of the housing market.  The true figure, based on measurements rational people would understand, is about a third.  But you can prove anything by selectively cherry-picking statistics. I don’t have many wishes for 2015, but I do wish that someone in the media would pick up the discarded mantle of Jeremy Paxman and nail these lying bastards to the wall.

Idiot politicians notwithstanding, as I said, it’s been a largely personal week, circumscribed by home and domestic issues.  And given that I haven’t really attended to them as diligently as I should have done, I don’t have that much to say, this week. (No change there, then!) Saturday marked 29 years since the day my mum died, and the fact that I have now lived to be a year older than she was when she passed, and the fact that we have rolled into yet another year, did little to improve my mood.  I’m not the only person to have lost their mum, obviously. At least two people I know have seen their mothers die in 2014, one a very dear friend of mine for whom I could, and should, have done more in the way of sympathy and support, except that I was busy fighting my own battles at the time, not that that’s really an excuse.  We’ve also lost little Freddie, who was another empty chair on New Year’s Eve, and again, I know other friends have also lost much-loved pets in 2014, so again I have no monopoly on grief.

I’ve looked at the calendar of Saints for today and to be honest they are a fairly unprepossessing bunch.  No doubt saintly enough, and good at interceding and helping old ladies across the road, tying knots, and organising jumble sales, but none of them really grabs me, if you know what I mean.  Plus, given my current penchant for hibernation, and the fact that it’s getting cold and dark outside and the stove is calling me, I think I might just do something totally unprecedented and call it a halt for this blog here. Tomorrow morning, the UK goes back to work after the Christmas break, and it will be the Monday morning not only of the week, but of the year. It will be a shock to the system to swing my legs out of bed and get up to see Debbie off teaching, but needs must, and all that. 

Last week, I completely missed the feast of the Holy Innocents, which was a bad blong to put up on the old scoreboard, and probably down to my semi-comatose state. Today, however, is the feast of the Epiphany.  Although the actual date is 6th January, it’s celebrated this Sunday, apparently. I always know it is 6th January because I knew a girl once whose birthday was that day, and who narrowly escaped being Christened “Epiphiana”.

It’s supposed to mark the visit of the three wise men (or kings, or Magi, depending who you .listen to) to the infant Jesus in his crib, bringing gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh.  Whenever I think of myrrh, I am always reminded of the story Alec Guinness told of being surprised by one of the flower-rota ladies while church-crawling somewhere in the home counties. They fell into conversation, about the church, and she confided that they were currently having “dreadful problems with the myrrh”. This surprised A. G., as the place didn’t look to be particularly high church, but all was revealed when she went on to say “yes, that’s why the grass in the churchyard is so long and untidy”.

Those who know more about theology than I do (and they are legion) make parallels between the fact that there were three wise men, and the trinity. Also there are people who have written very convincingly that the gift of myrrh (used in some cases as a funerary perfume in the ancient world) prefigures the death of Jesus on the cross. There is also a strong case to be made for the argument that the Magi submitting to Jesus represents some sort of official acknowledgement or handing over of the cults they represented to the new religion of Christianity.

Although I have a strong liking for Sidney Godolphin’s 17th century poem “Lord When Thy Wise Men Came From Far”, and recommend it to you, for most of us who went to school in the baby boomer era, the poetic vision of the three wise men which we took home with us came from T S Eliot’s The Journey of the Magi.

A cold coming we had of it,
Just the worst time of the year
For a journey, and such a journey:
The ways deep and the weather sharp,
The very dead of winter.'
And the camels galled, sore-footed, refractory,
Lying down in the melting snow.
There were times we regretted
The summer palaces on slopes, the terraces,
And the silken girls bringing sherbet.

Then the camel men cursing and grumbling
And running away, and wanting their liquor and women,
And the night-fires going out, and the lack of shelters,
And the cities hostile and the towns unfriendly
And the villages dirty and charging high  prices:
A hard time we had of it.
At the end we preferred to travel all night,
Sleeping in snatches,
With the voices singing in our ears, saying
That this was all folly.

Apart from the camels, that could be a description of the week I have just had, especially the fires going out, and the melting snow.  Eliot captures perfectly the nature of faith, that is all we have to help us persist when it seems “all folly”.

Latterly, the term “an epiphany” has also come to mean a sudden and blinding breakthrough, a realisation, of the sort the three wise men might have had when they finally reached Bethlehem and found that it was al real, after all.

So, here’s my epiphany, for what it’s worth. My blinding revelation for 2015. Basically, I’ve got two options. Close ranks and carry on, fix bayonets, stand to and man the barricades, or roll over and give up.  The same two options that any of us have, in fact. And since people count on me and depend on me, to feed and defend them, I’ll be carrying on, until further notice.

I wish, as I went forward into 2015, that I had some concrete, tangible hope to offer, both to myself and to others.  All I can cling to at the moment is summed up in Gerard Manley Hopkins:

Generations have trod, have trod, have trod;
And all is seared with trade; bleared, smeared with toil;
And wears man’s smudge and shares man’s smell: the soil
Is bare now, nor can foot feel, being shod.

And for all this, nature is never spent;
There lives the dearest freshness deep down things;
And though the last lights off the black West went
Oh, morning, at the brown brink eastward, springs—

Because the Holy Ghost over the bent
World broods with warm breast and with ah! bright wings.

And it seems to me that we’re very much at that point right now. The last lights of 2014 have slid below the western horizon, and the dawn of 2015 proper hasn’t happened yet. All we can cling to is a few feeble glimmers as yet, and a feeling that the Holy Ghost somehow has matters in hand. All we can do is plod on, blindly following a star, and trust it will all come out in the wash somehow. I find it difficult enough to believe in Jesus sometimes, and Big G and I are scarcely on speaking terms these days. The supernatural element of the Trinity makes about as much sense to me as a supernatural aspect to Wakefield Trinity, but maybe I have to accept that, sitting quietly, doing nothing, spring comes, and the grass grows by itself, and the squirrels and their little kits, woven snug in their nest of prayer flags, high up in the waving, creaking branches, as the trees nightly track the path of a single star across the winter’s dark heavens, know more about trusting in the Holy Ghost than I do, right now.